


Dark Blue, I Love You

by nsfwfrerardx



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Arkansas!, Band Fic, Best Friends, Bottom Frank Iero, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub, Fluff, Frank is super in love, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mikey is annoyed, Public Sex, Top Gerard Way, also, gerard is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 21:14:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19181494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nsfwfrerardx/pseuds/nsfwfrerardx
Summary: A tour stop in the middle of Arkansas and a fake honeymoon force Gerard to face the music: he's in love with his best friend.Or: Gerard is a dumbass in denial and Frank is a dumbass in love, Mikey is the dumbass who helps fix it.





	Dark Blue, I Love You

“Are you ever going to tell him?”

“Tell him what?”

“I don’t know, maybe that you’re in love with him.”

Gerard looks up from his coffee then, surprised by his brother’s bluntness. Although, at this point, he really shouldn't be.

“We’ve talked about this,” too many times. Mikey is set on getting his older brother and bandmate, Frank, together. Gerard isn’t sure what else he can say about it. He’s not in love, he just likes his best friend’s company, and lips… and ass. 

“Yeah, maybe talk about it with Frank instead,” he rolls his eyes at Mikey’s advice. 

“Talk to me about what?” Frank slides into the booth then, pressing close to Gerard as the tour bus doesn’t have much space for even one person to begin with. The older man lets his coffee get taken out of his hands, he’s too busy thinking of an excuse anyways. 

“About what guitar I should get Jason for his birthday,” Gerard’s mom had reminded him just yesterday about it, so it’s the first thing that comes to mind.

“Your cousin? Isn’t he like, five?” Frank sips Gerard’s coffee, meeting his eyes.

“Well, yes, but never too early, ya know?” He glances at Mikey who’s giving him a very judgemental, unsupportive look. 

“Right,” Frank doesn’t seem too excited about the idea. “I’d skip the guitar and get a cheap ukulele.” 

Gerard wraps an arm tightly around the smaller man’s waist, earning a bright smile in return. “You’re a genius,” he compliments, but now he has to actually get Jason a ukulele. 

Putting the coffee down, Frank rests his chin on his hand, gazing at the older man holding him, “I know.” 

Gerard can’t stop himself from brushing a hand through Frank’s hair, loosening the knots and then letting a curl fall to caress his cheek. Gerard notices how his heart beats differently when he looks at his best friend compared to anyone else, but he puts that knowledge on the back burner. He tells himself it’s just because Frank’s pretty, no one could look at him and not feel something. 

Instead, he focuses on how warm the other is against his hand. Frank’s always warm, and not even from a persistent fever. It’s strange, given the fact he is always complaining about being cold. It’s Frank’s excuse for stealing sweaters and cuddling on the couch. It’s why every winter he insists on sleeping in Gerard’s bunk. Which is why Gerard hasn’t slept alone once since tour started in January, it being March now, it’ll end soon. He tries not to ponder on why that makes him feel so off.

It’s hard to tear his gaze from Frank, especially in the morning. He always has this unmistakable look of pure unabashed happiness when he wakes up, which Gerard can’t relate to, but he accepts it from the other. It makes his mornings easier, actually. Being greeted by Frank’s smile every time the sun rises. He’s already used to making too much coffee because he knows that same smile will drink half of it. He leaves his shirt from the night before on the bunk because he knows Frank will want to wear it. Like he is now, it hanging loose from his neck, revealing his collarbone, a fading hickey peeking through. 

He’s not sure why Frank enjoys being draped in clothes far too big. He just knows that the first time the small body crawled out of his bunk with Gerard’s shirt on, he couldn’t get Frank in his arms fast enough. That same feeling he always gets when looking at the other just intensifies when there’s a clear sign of Gerard’s presence on him. Whatever it is that makes him feel that way, it’s probably connected to why he likes to mark Frank up in bed. 

They have a routine now, sharing the early hours of the day wrapped up in each other. Neither of them are complaining, though, because Gerard doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of looking at Frank’s delicate face or holding his warmth. And Frank doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of the other’s gaze, or the strong arms that keep him steady. 

The fact they have company doesn’t even register with Frank when he gently grips the front of the other’s battered t-shirt, and pulls him into a soft kiss. It’s just a peck on the lips, that lingers a little as Gerard happily rubs his thumb over Frank’s cheek. 

“Good morning,” Gerard finally says, with a smile slapped across his face. He swears he’s not in love with the guy looking at him like he personally hung the stars in the sky. 

“Good morning,” Frank kisses him once more, it’s hard to resist with the way he’s being admired. He’s not sure he’s ever felt this way about a person, like he can’t breathe when their eyes meet. But also like breathing, living, comes easier whenever they're close.

“I’m sick,” Mikey breaks the silence that came with the two men gazing into each other’s eyes. Gerard gives him an annoyed look, while Frank starts reaching over the small table.

“You want a kiss too, Mikes?” Frank purses his lips and tries to get in Mikey’s space, who is quick to push the smaller man’s face away with his hand, making him sit back in the booth. 

“Frank, stop slutting around,” Ray walks into the bus, fresh off a run, just as Frank is getting turned down and Gerard is laughing at his uncomfortable brother. 

“I’m no slut,” Frank protests, fitting himself back into his best friend’s comforting side. 

Gerard can’t help the snort of a laugh that rips through him at Frank’s denial, him thinking back on how just last night the younger man was begging Gerard to fuck his mouth. But sure, not a slut. They all turn to Gerard, Frank looking offended at the other’s obvious amusement and the other two men looking disgusted at the implication. 

“Hey,” Frank whines, offended, but it only takes Gerard looking at him with a raised eyebrow for his expression to soften. “Okay,” he blushes, realizing he’s completely fine with Gerard thinking he’s slutty, it’s kind of the point anyway. “I’m kind of a slut,” Frank settles, not minding when Gerard puts his fingers together in an almost pinch. 

“Ew,” Ray and Mikey say in unison, the bigger man moving to the back of the bus to shower, escaping the conversation.

“You brought it up!” Frank shouts to the back, almost falling out of the seat to yell into the narrow walkway. 

“Come’er, come’er,” Gerard grabs his torso and pulls him back into the booth. The way the tattooed hands immediately intertwine with his own against Frank’s waist reminds him how used to this they are. Frank rests his head on the other’s shoulder, and Gerard gets a whiff of strawberry shampoo. He wonders if his pillow smells like strawberries too.

“I’m going out,” Mikey gets up then, grabbing his jacket off the couch. 

“Tell Pete I say hi,” Frank says with a smirk, making the taller man blush as he puts on his jacket. 

“Shut up,” Mikey rushes out the door then, before he can be teased by anyone else.

When the door shuts, Gerard’s quick to place a kiss on Frank’s cheek. “Love it when you make my brother uncomfortable,” he says sweetly, rocking the other a little in his arms. 

Frank turns his head and looks up with a smirk, “you have weird kinks.”

“Mikey was right, you should shut up,” Gerard sighs, not loosening his grip at all, though. 

“Sounds like a promise,” Frank’s moving then, twisting himself around, Gerard never letting go. Frank’s pulling him in by the neck, connecting their lips in an open kiss. 

Each time he gets another taste of Gerard, he thinks he’s falling in love over and over again. He knows this is casual, to not get his hopes up too high. His best friend has a fault when it comes to voicing his feelings, despite the lyrics he writes. Gerard acts like he loves Frank, treats him like a prince and has never refused being close. But it seems like walking to China would be easier for Gerard than telling Frank, anyone, how he feels. 

Their morning kisses are always gentle, soft presses and a lot of Gerard slipping his hands under the other’s shirt to feel his skin. As if an entire night of being half naked with each other doesn’t please the older man enough, he wants to be touching Frank as much as possible. Not that Frank minds, he loves feeling Gerard’s hands on him, and happily conforms to each pull and press. 

“What’s the plan for today?” Frank doesn’t move far away, only enough for him to see more than just Gerard’s lips. 

Gerard hums, “well I guess I need to get a ukulele.” He’s dug himself a hole. 

“There’s a music shop and post office in town,” they’re at an RV park in the middle of Arkansas because Ray was begging for nature and solitude. The driver, Ryan, was kind of annoyed but hitched a ride with Brian to a local hotel. He really didn’t want to stay in the bus another night. They get to leave tomorrow for the city and hit a hotel after a week of not getting to. Ray seems to love this place, though, lots of areas he gets to run and Frank is enjoying the quiet. Mikey is enjoying Pete, who flew down just to see him. Gerard, on the other hand, is needing the city again. He needs the noise and bustle, to have easy distractions and keep himself from over-thinking. 

“Then I guess we’re going into town,” Frank kisses him before getting out of the booth and heading to the back of the bus. 

Gerard hates how excited he is, running errands with his friend always tends to settle his mind. Frank has that effect, this calming presence even though he’s a ball of energy most of the time. It’s like the storm in his mind turns to small waves the moment his eyes meet Frank’s. Even in the middle of performing, he just has to look over at his best friend thrashing around to settle any nerves. Even after years of touring, Gerard still gets nervous, they all do. But ever since he started kissing Frank off stage too, it’s easy to get over them. 

The kissing off stage thing happened unexpectedly. Frank had been more sexual on stage at the end of their last tour, but Gerard assumed it was just Frank being Frank. They’ve always been flirty with each other, all platonic at the time, so it was easy to blame the neck licking and sudden interest in Gerard’s crotch on that. But after one particularly exciting concert, Gerard found himself fucking his friend through a hotel mattress. 

Frank had waited till after they each had showered, and asked Gerard a simple question. 

“Do you want me?” He seemed so confident in asking, but quickly lost that confidence when Gerard was too shocked to answer right away. Frank was about to leave, embarrassed and ashamed, until Gerard caught his arm. They seemed to stay there, frozen, for forever. Gerard staring holes into the back of the other’s damp head. He eventually let his hand slide down to grasp Frank’s. And then Frank was turning around, stepping closer as his confidence grew again. It only took Gerard pulling him in by the hip for them to hastily smash their lips together. 

Gerard realized quickly that kissing his friend off stage was much, much, better. More passionate, more attentive, more everything. When they didn't have to worry about playing, about an audience or the guys, they got to pay attention to the way each other’s lips moved. 

Gerard learned that biting Frank’s bottom lip as he pulls away always makes him moan. He also discovered that despite how aggressive Frank is on stage, he’s quick to submit. He’s too eager to be manhandled, be underneath Gerard. It’s like he has a need to be dominated, and Gerard is overly thrilled to provide that need. To say they’re sexually compatible is an understatement, Gerard feels Frank might have been created just for him and vise versa. Which is why they’ve barely spent a night apart since.

They never discussed the emotional ramifications of what they’re doing. They’ve always said they loved each other, but that’s always been platonically. Ever since they started being intimate, they haven’t told each other. Gerard feels like ‘I love you’ means more when the person he’s saying it too is covered in hickeys he placed there himself. 

 

When they get to the music shop, Frank is like a kid in a candy store. Frank’s candy being the wall of guitars he immediately jolts to. 

“Can I help you guys?” A gruff looking man walks up to Gerard, wearily glancing at Frank who’s now inspecting a Fender. “I’m the owner, so anything you need I can point you towards it.”

“Just looking for a ukulele, nothing fancy, it’s for a child,” Gerard doesn’t plan on spending much money on an instrument that’ll probably get destroyed. If only Frank went by that same logic.

“Well, we have a couple over here for twenty five, not high quality but also should last till the kid gets older.” The shop owner leads Gerard to a corner of the store, where a bunch of ukuleles are lined up on stands with boxes behind them. “We only have them in the brown and black,” he picks up the brown ukulele and lets Gerard hold it. 

“Seems fine,” Gerard may be in a band but he only knows enough chords on a guitar to get a basic tune going, not enough to know anything else. “Frankie!” He calls, requiring an expert opinion on this. 

“Hey,” Frank quickly finds them, and places a hand on Gerard’s arm, “is that the lucky winner?” 

“Maybe, what do you think?” Gerard hands him the instrument and Frank is quick to start lazily strumming it. 

“I’ll get back to you,” he begins to tune it by ear.

“So, where are you guys from?” The owner asks, eyeing them up and down. “I’m assuming you aren’t owners of any of the local farms.” 

“What gave us away?” Gerard chuckles, knowing they look out of place.

“Somewhere between the tattoos and the skinny jeans.” The mention of the tattoos makes Gerard pay attention to his friend’s hands moving around the arm of the ukulele. 

“We’re from Jersey, just passing through,” Gerard explains.

“Where ‘ya headed?”

“Into the city tomorrow and then heading west,” they aren’t even halfway through tour yet.

“On a road trip or something?” 

“Actually-” Gerard’s about to explain how they’re in a band on tour when he gets interrupted. 

“We’re on our honeymoon,” Frank speaks up, bumping shoulders with the older man. “Road trip through America, ya know?” Gerard had completely forgotten about this, it’s been so long since they’d done it. To make endless driving and town hopping more interesting, the band created a thing where they’ll make up reasons as to why they’re in town. They’ve been in a traveling circus, storm chasers, ghost hunters, documentary makers, etc. Today, Frank’s decided they’re newlyweds. 

“Oh! Well congratulations,” he replies almost nervously, looking like he’s never seen a gay couple before. Which, in this neck of the woods, that wouldn't be shocking. 

“Thank you,” Gerard puts an arm around his husband’s waist, pulling him a little closer as he continues strumming the ukulele. “So what’s the verdict, baby?” It feels weird calling him that in front of strangers, hell, he doesn’t even call Frank that in front of the band. 

Frank twists so they’re facing each other, making Gerard’s hand fall to his hip. He smiles up at the others, giving one more bright strum before handing the instrument to the clearly uncomfortable owner. “We’ll take it.”

“Perfect,” the owner puts the ukulele back on the stand and picks up a box from behind it. “I hope the kid likes it,” they follow the man to the checkout counter and Gerard pulls out his wallet. 

“I’ll stick some candy in the package just in case tiny guitars aren’t his thing,” Gerard’s not really sure what Jason likes, last time he saw him was right before tour started, and he was more fascinated with dirt than anything else. 

They finish the transaction and Frank is quick to grab Gerard by the hand and haul them out of the store.

“I can’t believe you said we’re married!” Gerard laughs while being dragged down the street. 

“Yes, and on our romantic indie road-trip,” Frank stops walking and throws himself into the taller man’s arms, wrapping his own around Gerard’s neck. “Where we only eat ramen and have crazy hot sex in the backseat of our van at lookouts.” Frank grins, getting up on his toes to be level with the other who’s holding him tight. 

“Sounds a lot like what we do now,” they have plenty of crazy hot sex in a bus at campsites, and that’s got to be at least on the same plainfield. 

“Well, then I’m loving this honeymoon,” Frank says softly, pressing closer so their chests connect.

“You’re easy to please,” it’s true, though. Frank’s the most low-maintenance person he knows. He showers a lot, and needs everything to be clean and tidy. But it doesn’t take much to have him giddy and in Gerard’s arms. Just like right now. 

“When it’s you, yeah,” there’s no one that makes him happier than Gerard. Even when they’re just sitting on the bus together, reading different books, Frank’s happier than he is on stage. It’s a different kind of happy, though, less adrenaline and more sincerity. And if Frank had to choose between only feeling one of those happy’s, he’d pick the one that involves his best friend’s arms around his waist. 

Gerard’s taken aback by the statement, being more sincere than the joking nature of the conversation. A large part of him wants to brush it off, not show how much it means that Frank feels this way. But he’s looking so sublime, so blissfully happy in this random moment. He’s not sure what to say, not sure what words to use and that’s the absolute fascination of Frank Iero. He’s the only person who can make Gerard, the lover of his own voice, completely speechless. 

So, he replies with a language they’re both familiar with, and kisses the awaiting man in his arms. It’s just a nod of the head, pushing Frank’s nose up with his own so he can reach the other’s lips. It’s soft, nothing too risque as they’re in public, but it’s enough to leave Frank blushing when they part. 

“So, candy?” Frank’s voice is mellow, like he doesn’t want to pop their imaginary bubble. It takes a moment for Gerard to realize what he’s talking about, the candy for the package. It’d be too easy to just lean in and let the sudden wave of fondness for his friend to take over, but he steps back and takes Frank’s hand instead. 

“Candy,” Gerard smiles down at the other who’s back on both feet, and starts leading them towards the gas station. There’s not much here, which is why Gerard’s fine with the hand holding and the kiss. It’s a run-down town surrounded by farmland in the middle of a work day. The only people there are the ones falling asleep behind the counter, and Gerard doubts they’re die-hard MCR fans. 

They pick up a bunch of candies from gummies to chocolate, hoping the cold weather will keep from any melting. Walking through the store, something catches Gerard’s eye. He smirks at himself and manages to buy it without Frank noticing. 

“So, post office?” Gerard asks when they’re back outside. 

“I think we should trick out the uke a little bit before sending it off,” Frank suggests.

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah! I mean, it’s just brown, and Jason’s a kid. Kids like colors, right?” 

“Sounds like a solid assumption to make.”

“Then we should go back to the bus and whip out your plethora of paints, personalize it, ya know?” Frank’s almost bouncing on his toes, and as much as Gerard would rather catch up on reading his new comics, he can’t turn down that smile. 

“And the genius ideas keep rolling,” Gerard accepts. The giddy look on the other is worth putting off reading. 

Frank decides on painting outside because of the fumes and not wanting to stain a bus they’re only renting. They were going to just sit near the vehicle on the slab of pavement it’s next to, but Gerard has a genius idea of his own. So, he packs up a blanket, some snacks, and a thermos because Frank’s been on an herbal tea trip lately. He saw a small lake when they were pulling in yesterday on a map that seemed nice and secluded. Well, the whole place is secluded. They’re the only bus on the campground since it’s still too cold for most people to camp. The rest of the tour gang decided to stay at a station a few miles north or at a hotel. The band is grateful for it to just be them for a day, though. Despite the constant texts from Brian and Worm. 

“Come with me,” Gerard puts his hand out, with a blanket and backpack filled with supplies over his shoulder. Frank’s holding the bag with the ukulele and candy, wearing a confused look since he doesn’t think he needs an escort to the outside of the bus. He takes Gerard’s hand anyway, not ever complaining about holding it. 

Gerard leads them out the door and goes straight for the trail leading into the forest. 

“Is this how you murder me?” Frank jokes, noticing how they’re moving further into the trees.

“Yes,” Gerard chuckles, “the weapons are in the bag and the blanket is for your body.” 

“Weapons?” Frank pulls himself higher using the other’s arm to get close to his ear. “I’d prefer it if you just choked me,” he whispers, knowing full well how it’ll affect Gerard. 

The older man stops walking, and turns to yank Frank close to his chest. It amazes him how easily Frank can turn even a murder joke into something sexual. 

“Yeah, you’d like that wouldn’t you?” Gerard smirks, getting to hear the other’s giggle. He uses this opportunity to gently grab Frank by the throat and pull him in for a quick kiss. 

“Definitely wouldn’t complain,” they share one more kiss before Gerard releases him with a jokingly disapproved look. “So where are you taking me?” 

“It’s a surprise,” they leave it at that, and Frank enjoys the mysterious walk with the trees finally growing leaves again. He’s content here, strolling through the forest with the person he loves most. It’s so rare they get moments alone like this on tour, there’s always the band our roadies or Brian or fans. Always someone needing something from them. It’s usually Gerard, too, who gets the butt end of all the commotion. Because of that he likes to spend any chance he gets drawing or reading or working on another ingenious idea. 

So, the fact Gerard is taking Frank on some outside adventure just proves to the younger man how much the other must feel for him. He knows painting a ukulele is not what Gerard would rather be doing. 

He isn't sure if the feelings are mutual, though. Gerard must like Frank enough to kiss and hold him like he does. But that doesn't mean love, despite that being all that Frank feels. No matter how much Gerard seems like he’s in love, Frank will never truly know unless it’s said. And as much as he wants Gerard to take his time, Frank’s hope can only last so long. 

It’s a few more minutes of walking until they turn a corner and the small lake comes into sight. “Wow,” Frank gasps, the natural scene is close to something from a fantasy. The lake is surrounded by trees, reflecting off the water and making it appear more enclosed than it is. The water is deadly still, almost looking solid but the geese gliding through ruin the illusion. The sun is still high in the sky, reflecting off the lake and causing it to sparkle. “How’d you know this was here?” 

Gerard lets go of Frank’s hand to lay the blanket down, “I saw it on a map when we first came in.” He sets them up right near the edge of the water, but far enough so they don’t disturb the geese or ducks. He has to grab Frank’s hand again and make him sit down because he’s too focused on gazing at the scenery.

“Wow,” Frank’s vocabulary is lagging, partly because of the view and partly because Gerard thought to bring him here. To a very romantic lake, at least in his opinion. This is like- proposal and wedding worthy. 

“Right? Who would’ve thought Arkansas would be the prettiest place we’ve seen so far,” Gerard, for a moment, entertains the idea of doing a photoshoot here. But it gets quickly shut down by a feeling that he needs to keep this between him and the younger man. 

“So, why’d ya bring me here?” He can’t help the blush that creeps up, and busies himself with getting the ukulele out of its box.

“Well, it is our honeymoon, afterall. What kind of husband would I be if I didn't take you to a random campground lake in the middle of nowhere?” Gerard jokes, unpacking the paints and getting out the thermos. “Brought you some tea, too,” he hands it to Frank who’s blushing even more now. It’s easy to get him red in the face, and Gerard would be lying if he said he didn't do things just to see his cheeks turn pink.

“I'm a lucky man,” Frank exaggerates and takes a sip of the tea, hoping to hide his smirk. Even though it’s a joke, he can’t help but feel tingly all over from Gerard’s words. Referring to himself as Frank’s husband is almost too much to handle. He doesn't want to be too in love with this idea, this dumb fantasy, but it’s hard not to be when they’re in a place like this and Gerard is looking at him like that.

“Yes, you are,” Gerard smirks back, fetching the thing he secretly bought out of his bag. “Close your eyes for me, sweetheart.”

“What? No blindfolds in that bag of yours?” Frank closes them anyway.

“Choking and blindfolds, are you trying to hint at something?” Gerard already knows of the other’s interest in sensory deprivation and very minor breath play. He’ll only every gently squeeze Frank’s neck when Frank’s climaxing, never holding on for more than a few seconds. Apparently it makes his orgasm hit harder. Gerard’s too paranoid to try it himself, but he’s more than fine with watching the other’s blissed out face.

“Sneak into my bunk tonight and find out,” Frank raises his eyebrows suggestively, which looks a bit ridiculous with his eyes still closed. 

“Alright, give me your left hand you horndog,” Gerard unwraps the surprise, and Frank eagerly puts his hand out, almost hitting the other man. Gerard takes the younger’s hand in his own, running his thumb over the tattooed knuckles. They’re soft, always soft, like the rest of Frank's body. Every inch of his skin is like silk, Gerard doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of touching it. 

He takes time to enjoy this, gaze at his best friend’s stunning features without it being known. Frank’s the kind of perfect Gerard didn’t know could exist. He feels insanely lucky to even be in the same time period as him, to be holding his hand and watching him blush. To wake up most mornings with him cuddled so close because bunks are barely big enough for one person. But even during break, or hotel nights, they always end up just as smushed together as they would be on the bus. 

Like this morning, Gerard was awake for about an hour, just looking at the man resting peacefully on his chest. He didn’t want to leave, wanted to stroke the younger’s hair and watch him sleep until he woke up. Because when he does wake up, tight in Gerard’s arms, he always has the most serene expression. And for whatever time they’re allowed, they get to live in their own world where whatever they are doesn’t matter. Where no one’s asking if they’re boyfriends or friends with benefits, where they can be happy with each other without ever saying a word. This morning, though, he had promised Mikey to join him for breakfast. So Gerard had to quietly leave before he could watch his own personal sunrise. 

“I can feel you staring,” Frank breaks the older man out of his trance. Gerard squeezes his hand and glances away before going right back to looking at him.

“Not my fault you’re so damn beautiful,” Gerard isn’t afraid to admit it, he’s complimented the other plenty of times. Just rarely in such a setting.

“Am I watching my eyelids just so you can butter me up and hold my hand? You know you can do that with my eyes open, too,” Frank doesn’t even think about opening them.

“Shush it.”

“Make me.”

“I’ll add ‘gagging’ to the list of hints.”

“Good,” Frank giggles, “when am I allowed to see again?” 

“Just one second,” Gerard gently slips the gift on Frank’s finger, watching his smile grow as he starts to realize it’s some kind of ring. Gerard kisses his knuckles before granting him permission to open his eyes. 

“Oh my God,” Frank puts his hand up to inspect his finger, “you got me a ring pop?” 

“Of course, we can’t be married without rings,” Gerard had seen the ring pops at the gas station and figured it couldn't hurt to make this more real. As real as a ring pop could make something. He saw mood rings there too, but felt they’d be too permanent. That Frank wouldn’t want to live in this fantasy for that long. The piece of candy will go down as their pretending does. But Gerard is thinking maybe he was wrong to get the temporary ring, because Frank can’t stop grinning at the red piece of candy on his finger. Maybe a permanent one would have been better, because then he’d get to see Frank light up like this for longer.

“Where’s yours?” Frank glances at Gerard’s ringless hand.

“Didn’t think to get myself one,” that would have made more sense. 

“Then we’re just engaged,” Frank pouts, but starts looking around and picks a dandelion from the ground. “Give me your hand.”

Gerard doesn’t question it, and gives Frank his hand. Frank picks off the flower and then ties the stem around the older man’s ring finger. It’s surprisingly sturdy, and Gerard can’t help the butterflies that arise in his stomach when his ring is secured. 

“There you go, now we can properly enjoy our honeymoon,” he smiles, letting Gerard’s hand go. 

“Thank God,” Gerard grins, and slips a hand behind the other’s neck to pull him into a kiss. Frank does the same with the hand now holding a ring pop. It almost feels like sealing the deal after having exchanged rings, like they’re actually married. Thinking it over in his head, marriage with Frank seems terrifying. 

But then Gerard thinks, what would be so bad? Only having sex with one person, forever? He hasn't been fucking anyone but Frank since they started this. Which is an interesting realization. They never discussed only seeing each other, it just sort of happened that way. So no, Gerard definitely wouldn't mind only having Frank in his bed. But it'd be their bed. Falling asleep and waking up together every night and morning, the thought just makes Gerard smile into their kiss. It’s something they already do, anyway. There’s rarely a night where the last thing Gerard sees before he falls asleep isn't his friend’s tired body. 

Sharing a home with Frank, though, no more true personal space, that would suck, right? Except they’ve already been planning to move in together when tour ends. Of course, on a roommate basis, but Gerard doesn't even need a roommate. They’re rich now, he can buy his own house without someone pitching in. And it strikes him then that, yeah, he just wants to live with Frank. He just wants to be near him as much as possible, so no, sharing a home with him would not suck. 

But what about forever? Forever with this human who wants an obscene amount of dogs and kids. Any thought of being committed to something indefinitely makes Gerard’s heart pick up as if he’s being chased by a monster. The monster in this case is a lifetime with Frank, but that doesn't seem so scary when they finally break the kiss and Gerard’s met with such an enchanting face. There’s no monster in this, no horror in having his best friend by his side till death.

Is being pleased with the idea of being connected to someone for eternity a sign of love? Gerard isn’t sure, he’s never been in love, he doesn't know what signs to look for. He just knows Frank’s special, and that he wants to spend a long time being with him. 

Frank, on the other hand, almost blurts it. Almost makes this moment awkward even though it feels so right to say those three words when they part. Instead, he gives him a light peck on the lips in replace of what he wants to say. 

They spend a moment softly smiling at each other, taking it in the warmth of the moment before the sudden noise of a goose flapping its wings in the water takes them out of their trance. 

Gerard awkwardly coughs, trying to act like he wasn’t just thinking about marrying his best friend, “So, how should we paint it?” 

“I was thinking green, he likes being outside, right? We should make it nature themed.” Frank starts comparing the different shades of green to find which was more grass-like. “This one should be the base,” he lays down a green that resembles Gerard’s ring. “And the other ones we can use for trees and leaves.” 

“Should we add flowers?” Gerard looks over the pinks and yellows he has, unsure if Jason would want that.

“Yeah, let’s not make him think flowers are too feminine or some bullshit. If he likes nature, he likes flowers,” Frank makes a point, so Gerard gets out the paper plate he brought and starts squirting the base green onto it as a makeshift palette. 

He notices the dandelion used for the ring on the blanket next to Frank’s knee, and picks it up to examine for some minor inspiration. He chooses the yellows accordingly and figures he’ll add some dandelions to the ukulele. But looking at the flower, then to Frank, who’s now painting the green on the instrument, he gets an idea. 

“C’mere,” Gerard gets the other’s attention, who drops his paintbrush and leans forward, elbows resting on his knees. 

“Yes?” Frank smiles brightly, probably assuming he’s getting kissed again. 

Gerard doesn’t kiss him, but tucks the dandelion behind his friend’s ear. The stem is gone, so it’s a bit harder to steady it, but he’s able to make it stay in place. He leans back a little, just to see how it looks, and Gerard thinks his lungs might have stopped working. Yeah, eternity with this would not be horrific at all. 

The yellow compliments him so well, contrasting with his black hair and bringing out the gold specks in his eyes. Frank’s face heats up from the other’s gaze, nuzzling into Gerard’s hand when it’s placed on his cheek. Frank wishes there were a way to tattoo the feeling of something. Because if he could, it’d be this; Gerard stroking his cheek with, what Frank hopes, is love in his eyes.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” Gerard asks, his voice low and knowing he just told the other a minute ago. But there’s something about this Arkansas lake, this town, the seclusion and nature, and the makeshift ring on his finger that makes him want to shower his friend in endless flattery. 

Frank looks down, bashful and smiling, then puts a hand over the one on his cheek. “Not within the last two seconds,” he meets Gerard’s eyes, “tell me again, my self-confidence is plummeting.” He jokes, never feeling anything less than gorgeous when Gerard’s around.

“You are so, so, beautiful,” Gerard continues to stroke his cheek, not minding how much of his heart he’s bearing right now. And while complimenting looks isn’t too emotionally vulnerable, he feels the way he’s saying it is. 

Frank loses his smile, and Gerard thinks for a minute that maybe it was too much. But then Frank’s moving towards him, leaning over the ukulele and resting his weight with his hands on Gerard’s knees. Gerard doesn’t move his hand, and lets the other lean on him, their faces only a few inches away. 

“It’s been two seconds,” Frank whispers, his mouth twitching into a smile. 

Gerard smiles right back, accepting the smaller man’s teasing. “You’re beautiful,” he compliments again, meaning it just as much as he did before. Frank’s smile brightens, and he moves a little closer, sliding his hands towards Gerard’s thighs. 

“Two seconds.”

“You’re beautiful,” Frank gets closer, their mouths close to touching.

“One, two,” the smaller man loses his smirk, and rubs his nose against the other’s. 

“So beauti-” Gerard practically says it into Frank’s mouth, kissing him earnestly. Gerard wants to pull the other onto his lap, wants to run his hands up his shirt, but he doesn’t act on it. There’s time for that later, but Frank is starting to move over to the older man, lips still locked. Gerard stops the other from coming over with a hand to the chest, separating their mouths. “No, sweetheart,” Frank grunts and rolls his eyes, clearly wanting to argue but obeying anyways. “We need to get this done before the post office closes,” It’s already past noon because they all woke up late.

“Fine,” Frank sits back and picks up a paintbrush, continuing with the green. He’s still pouting, though, so Gerard quickly leans over and kisses him on the cheek, watching the other’s reluctant smile grow. “But I get to suck you off later,” Frank doesn’t meet his eyes, just keeps painting. 

Of course, Gerard thinks, that’s what Frank wants. “Anything you want, baby,” he smirks when he catches Frank’s lips twitch happily from the pet name. He knows how much Frank loves getting called that, amongst other things. Gerard just doesn’t ever do it unless they’re in bed because there’s always someone around. And despite how provocative they are on stage, other people seeing them close or hearing their intimate conversations is troubling. 

Frank focuses on finishing the paint job, and Gerard works on painting a flower at the head of the guitar. They work in silence, only listening to the sounds of nature while they have the chance to. Gerard’s starting to appreciate this more now, open spaces and lack of buildings and noise. He can’t remember the last time things were this peaceful. It’s like being able to really think again, which is scary. Only because he feels his heart swell each time he looks at the small man sitting across from him, painting away and shaking his foot to a rhythm only in his head. The scenery only makes him seem more angelic, and Gerard’s heart more constricted. 

Every now and then, Frank will glance up and meet his eyes, catching him staring. Gerard just smiles, though, and watches pink fill the other’s cheeks. They feel like high schoolers on a first date, but also like they’ve been in love for years. Which, it might be true. But Gerard won’t admit that, neither of them will. Frank does to himself, and to Mikey, and Ray. But not the person with whom it involves, he’ll wait for Gerard to say it first. And maybe that’s because Frank feels he needs the older, more mature person to say it first. Or because he’s terrified of blurting it out and being rejected. Frank’s not sure if he’d be able to stay in the band if that happened, not sure if he could get over Gerard not wanting him. 

He hates himself for it, falling so hard and deep with someone emotionally closed off. Someone who he works with, who’s his best friend, who gave Frank this little family. But he couldn’t help it. He knew Gerard was special from the first time he saw the greasy man screaming on stage, but he didn’t think it’d be this intense. Over the years his love and appreciation just grew, the hard times only making it stronger. He knows Gerard feels that connection, at least, the one that ties them stronger than with anyone else. Of course Gerard and Mikey have a weird, almost psychic connection, but this is different. If Gerard were to treat his brother the way he treats Frank… that’d be horrifying. And illegal, he’s pretty sure.

It’s obvious Gerard feels something other than just sexual attraction and friendship. The moment they just shared proves that, and so does every morning. Like this morning, when Gerard spent a good thirty minutes watching him sleep. Frank only knows this because he’ll pretend to still be asleep most mornings just to feel Gerard’s fingers in his hair. He feels the way the older man tightens his arms around him those mornings. The kiss that gets dropped on the top of his head. And when Frank does wake up, either by choice or naturally, he sees the warmth in Gerard’s eyes. Something close to infatuation, maybe more. It gives him hope. 

Frank stops painting to look at the ring pop, a rush of butterflies in his stomach. Maybe, definitely, he wishes it were an actual ring and this was their actual honeymoon. He’s ready for that, he thinks. He’s been ready to spend forever with the person he loves more than music. But the ring pop will do for now. And as much as he wants Gerard to confess his love, he’ll let the candy on his finger and the other’s gaze fill him with the momentary comfort.

The base coat dries quickly, so Gerard starts painting delicate flowers. Frank joins too, them both leaning in close over the ukulele to brush on dandelions and other wildflowers. There’s a moment where they glance at each other at the same time, faces close, an instant smile stretching their lips. Gerard can’t help but give a quick kiss to the other, his lips already almost there. It’s just a peck, something sweet and simple, just to show how happy he is to be here right now. Spending this time with his best friend. 

Frank thinks he might like the random, thoughtless kisses more than the ones urged on by sexual tension. Because when they’re just casually near each other, and Gerard pulls him in for a quick kiss, Frank knows it’s for comfort and admiration. That Gerard likes him enough to feel something other than lust when their lips meet. That their kisses benefit him in a way no one else’s could.

It’s like second nature at this point. Frank getting up on his toes to kiss the taller man when they’re about to part ways. Or when he spots Gerard nose-deep in a comic book and Frank feels he has no other choice but to swoop down and attach their lips. Which usually leads to Gerard pulling him down so Frank gets to lay against him, letting them read together. But most of the time Frank doesn’t read along, just lays his head back and closes his eyes, enjoying their closeness. 

When the Ukulele is finished, they decide to walk around the lake as the paint dries. Gerard mindlessly takes the smaller hand, the one without the ring so that Frank can still lick it at. 

“When’s the last time we were this alone?” Frank asks, really noticing the lack of company. “No roadies or guards or managers or-”

“Mikey and Ray?” Gerard chimes in, knowing Frank would never say it.

“Well,” he says sheepishly, not wanting to admit it. 

“It’s okay, I’m happy to get alone time with you too,” he loves his brother, he loves Ray, but he doesn’t fuck either of them. Maybe it’s telling that he wants to spend a day being close to someone he’s only supposed to be having casual sex with. But Frank is so much more than that. He’s the person who’s been there through thick and thin. His best friend, the only one Gerard can tell absolutely everything to and not fear judgement. Frank has become intertwined with each part of his life. To the point where even when they aren’t touring, recording, or writing, they’re together somewhere. 

“Yeah?” Frank smiles up at the older man, putting his hand over Gerard’s so that he’s clasping it tight. “Alone time that doesn’t involve your dick?”

Gerard chuckles, “Of course, you know we hung out like this before dicks were involved.” 

“Not exactly like this,” Frank raises their combined hands as they walk, making a point of how they’ve grown closer. 

“You’re right, but I prefer it like this,” holding his friend’s hand, watching Frank’s smile grow brighter from the comment, is far more enjoyable than the drunken excursions they used to have. Frank doesn’t respond, just leans his head on the other’s shoulder and strolls along the lakeside. He’s content. 

When they finally make it to the post office it’s almost five. The ukulele was dry hours before that, but they got caught up in talking about various ideas and then Gerard felt it necessary to sketch the other in front of the lake. He tried to do it without Frank noticing, but glancing from paper to his face every few seconds is kind of obvious. He drew the smaller man as he was, laying down on his side, facing Gerard. The lake and forest behind him. Gerard drew two swans in the lake that weren’t there, their necks forming a heart. He added in the ring pop that was long gone by then, Frank had eaten it within the first couple of hours. He put detail into the exposed neck and hand tattoos, being able to feel them against his fingertips just by the mere thought. It’s easy, getting lost in Frank’s form, how delicate yet sharp it is. He often finds himself amazed he’s been able to touch every inch of the man, unsure of what granted him such privilege.

As always with Gerard’s art, Frank fawned over the sketch and kissed him on the lips. There’s something special about the person he loves recreating him on paper, Frank gets to see through the other’s eyes. Gerard always draws him with more attention to detail than when he sketches the rest of the band members. Always focuses in on Frank’s eyes and hips, the lines there harder than anywhere else. The background gave something away, too. But the younger man did his best to not let his mind runaway with why there were lovebirds in a sketch of him. 

While in town, Gerard notices the sun starting to go down and wonders when exactly their honeymoon ends. The thought of it ending at all is disheartening, and he can tell by Frank’s sorrowing expression that he’s probably feeling the same. He figures it ends whenever the rings do, which means it’s close to over since Frank’s ring pop has been licked away and Gerard’s dandelion stem is barely hanging on. But he doesn’t want this to end, doesn’t want to let go of the small symbols showing they belong to each other. Which is why he sneaks away again to the gas station as Frank bubble wraps the ukulele at the post office. 

He decides on buying the mood rings, wanting this to be more permanent. He figures they’ll last longer than the jewelry they’re sporting now. There’s different designs for each, so he picks one where it actually looks like a nice ring from afar, except there a mood stone instead of a diamond. Then he picks a band for himself, he thinks Frank will like the more flashy yet simple one given his already growing collection. He hides them in a pocket in his bag, wanting to wait for the best moment to show the other. He also needs time to think of a way to explain why he wants the rings to last longer, why he wants so badly to act like they’re truly together. 

When they get back to the campground, Frank asks Gerard to park the car that Brian left them to use near an enclosure of trees. 

“Why do you want me to park away from the bus?” There’s literally nothing there, just trees and dirt, probably half a mile from the bus. 

“It’s later,” Frank says, and then there’s a hand on Gerard’s thigh, teasingly close to his crotch. 

Gerard isn’t sure what he means by that, and wonders when they talked about doing anything later today. Then it hits him. “Oh,” Oh. 

“Mhm,” Frank’s leaning closer, and Gerard’s breath hitches when there’s a hand squeezing at his crotch. 

“Right, okay,” Gerard pulls into the small space, looking around and only seeing trees and the rest of the dirt road no one will be going down. Before he can even turn to look at Frank, his lips are getting attacked. He grunts, surprised by it, but kisses back the second his mind adapts to the situation. 

Each time they do this Gerard is just as amazed at how eager Frank is to suck him off. Giving blowjobs is definitely enjoyable for Gerard, but he prefers receiving like he assumes most people do. But Frank, Frank acts like he prefers giving them. Whenever they’re getting into it, the first thing Frank wants to do, begs for, is Gerard’s dick in his mouth. Which, Gerard is not complaining, not at all. Just always pleasantly surprised. 

Frank unbuttons and unzips Gerard’s pants, never separating their lips. He’s not shocked when he instantly feels the other’s dick, it’s not often Gerard wears underwear. He gets a hand around his friend’s growing erection, moaning around the tongue in his mouth at the size. 

“Fuck,” Gerard has to break away and lean his head back on the seat, needing to breathe. He looks over at Frank, whose mouth is wet, face red, and eyes looking hungry. Frank’s staring at Gerard’s cock, seeming so blissed out already from just watching his hand moving around it. It’s such a fucking turn on, seeing how Frank’s mouth hangs open as if he’s fantasizing about blowing the other. “C’mon, baby, suck daddy’s cock,” Gerard needs more than just Frank’s hand, and he knows Frank’s just been waiting for permission. 

Frank shivers at the demand, Gerard’s dominance coming out. It was awkward as hell when Frank first let the word slip one night while Gerard was going particularly rough on him. He couldn’t help it, but it didn’t freak the older man out, just made him fuck Frank harder.

Once he gets permission to start, his mouth is sucking in the head of Gerard’s cock, not even bothering with teasing. He’s been craving this since the lake, which isn’t that long, but he’s used to being around so many people that it’s easy to be distracted. Not today, though, all his thoughts are on the man whose cock is filling his mouth. 

Gerard sucks in a breath, not ready for the sensation and puts a hand in Frank’s hair. 

Frank moans around Gerard’s cock when he feels the hand gripping his hair, this is his favorite thing next to getting fucked. Nothing gets him more turned on than someone’s cock down his throat, the weight and taste of it, how full and used it makes him feel. He’s sure there’s something psychologically wrong with him when being treated like nothing more than a fleshlight is what gets him going, but he can’t care when Gerard’s dick is this good.

He moves his hand from the base, and lets his mouth slide down till his nose hits Gerard’s pubes. With the older man’s cock filling up his throat, he tries to control his breathing and focuses on the sounds Gerard is making. He remembers then to put his hands away, knowing he should have done it beforehand. Not moving his mouth, he puts his arms behind his back and clasps his hands together. Gerard moans from above due to the sign of submission. And starts pulling Frank’s head up by his hair to thrust in and out of his mouth. 

The possession is anything but comfortable, his chest is resting on hard cup holders and his torso is twisted with his ass halfway on the seat. It makes this better, though, the dull pain in his body and the burning and stretching in his throat just adding to the pleasure of it all. Frank continues to moan, wanting the vibrations from it to add to the sensation. Given that Gerard curses each time he does, he assumes it’s working. 

Gerard isn’t sure how he got so lucky, because the hottest guy on earth, at least in his opinion, is letting him fuck his mouth. There’s something cursed about Frank lips, how well the fit around his cock, the cool lip ring that slides against him. He’s disappointed they aren’t at the angle where he can see his dick move in and out of his friend’s stretched mouth. But the disappointment doesn’t last long, because Frank starts putting his tongue to use and pressing against the side of Gerard’s cock. 

“Fuck, baby, you were fucking made for this,” Gerard means it, too. He’s received a lot of blowjobs in his day, he blames drugs and fame for that, but Frank is by far the best he’s ever had. He’s just so obedient, letting Gerard fuck his mouth as hard or slow as he wants and enjoying it probably more than Gerard does. “My perfect little slut,” he whispers, and feels Frank moan around his cock.

Frank’s eyes are watering, and he can feel tears drip down his cheeks and it’s so fucking good. Gerard only gets more enthusiastic with his thrusts, making Frank take his cock deeper into his throat. He relishes in the burning of his scalp with the how Gerard grips it tighter. He can feel his dick start to leak in his pants, uncomfortably straining against his jeans but he can’t do anything to service it. Frank doesn’t mind, though, he’s cum from just sucking cock before and nothing else. 

Gerard’s close, Frank can feel it with how Gerard’s cock starts twitching and lightly throbbing in his mouth. Frank presses his tongue with more force, tasting the saltiness of the precum. Gerard’s rambling, telling Frank how good he is, how nice his throat feels, promising to fuck him later. All comments going straight to Frank’s dick, even making his asshole twitch from the thought of being penetrated. He needs it, and he currently wishes there were two Gerard’s to fill up each end of him and make him feel completely full and used. As much as he loves Gerard, the idea of a threesome is definitely something he should bring up. Hallowing his cheeks and sucking hard, Frank tries to get the older man to finish.

“Frankie, jesus fucking chri-” Gerard breaks off his curse with a moan as he cums down Frank’s throat. The grip on his hair gets loosened so Frank is able to move his head on his own accord now and focuses on sucking tightly up Gerard’s tip and pressing at his slit. His cum fills Frank’s mouth and drips down his throat, and as bitter as it tastes, Frank drinks it up like cold water on a hot day. He’s always had a probably weird thing for cum, whether it’s going down his throat or up his ass. He’s not sure why, it’s not like cum objectively tastes good. But when he’s turned on, Gerard’s hand in his hair, mouth and throat sore, it’s all he wants. 

Gerard pulls him up by the hair, and is almost too distracted by the fucked out look on Frank’s face and the cum on the side of his mouth to kiss him. But he does, messily and tasting himself in the process.

“You did such a good job, such a good boy,” Gerard compliments, grasping Frank’s jaw to try and look him in the eyes. “Have you cum yet baby?” He can’t see Frank’s crotch so isn’t sure if he’s gotten off yet or not. He was moaning pretty persistently so it’s completely possible. 

Frank shakes his head, “okay, take your pants and underwear off for me, baby,” Gerard commands. Frank quickly regains his energy. When they’re off, Gerard pulls him onto his lap, letting the small thighs straddle him. Frank’s cock is flushed pink, pressed against his abdomen and leaking. 

“Please, daddy, I-” Frank starts, his voice is barely there after what his throat just endured. 

“Shh, baby, I know,” Gerard pushes the small body to lean back against the steering wheel. “I’ll take care of you,” he pulls the lever at the side of his seat to make the chair roll back and give more space in between their bodies, which is what he needs for what he wants to do. Frank whines at the sudden movement, but Gerard’s hands stay steady on his hips. 

Gerard strokes the other, watching Frank’s mouth hang open at the touch. “So desperate for it, aren’t you?” He asks, Frank nods and tries to push his hips up, earning a tisk from his dom. “Behave, or you won't cum till the next time I fuck you,” that puts Frank back into place. Keeping his hips down and softly whining at the light touches. 

Gerard collects the wetness from Frank’s cock onto his fingers, and drags them down to lightly brush against his hole. “This okay?” he asks, and glances up to find the other biting his lip and nodding profusely. Gerard smirks, “move your legs for me,” for better access, Gerard pulls at the other’s thighs so that his feet are planted on the seat and knees are up. 

And holy fuck, Gerard almost gets hard again from just seeing Frank like this, presenting himself. The fading hickies and bruises on his inner thighs from the last hotel night where Gerard got to really take his time. Frank’s hole is still a little red from last night from when they used the dildo. They didn’t want to actually fuck with the bus still moving, that was proven to be a bad idea when a bump in the road made Gerard fall out one night, hurting his dick as it was awkwardly forced out of Frank. Scarring Brian for life was another negative. 

“So beautiful, Frankie, spread open for me,” with his fingers lubed up, Gerard slides a finger into the puckered rim and watches as Frank throws his head back. “You can talk,” he loves to hear the other’s begging, it's only ever in the bus he has to keep him quiet. 

“More, daddy, please I can take it,” he’s still good from last night, doesn’t need to be treated gently. He wants the sting, too, love feeling not completely open for it. 

Gerard forcefully shoves another finger in, “you like that, baby?” He doesn’t try to be slow, starts thrusting harshly. Frank’s high pitched moans carry through the vehicle, and sweat is sticking to the front of his shirt. 

“Y-yes, daddy,” the smaller man whines, resisting the urge to move against Gerard’s fingers. Gerard’s gripping his inner thigh, keeping his legs spread wide. Being handled like this only turns Frank on more. Having Gerard’s hand keep him still and open so he can be fucked into, is usually how he wants it. Whether it’s Gerard’s cock or fingers inside him, being (consensually) forced to just take it is what makes it so good. 

He brings his head up to meet Gerard’s eyes, and moans from how dominating he looks. Clothes still on, hair neatly pushed back, face serious and firm as if he didn’t just get blown. As if he’s not adding a third finger into Frank, and yeah- that’s it. That’s when he hits the spot he’d been avoiding just to watch Frank squirm. 

“Wanna fuck you like this,” Gerard starts, sounding intense but steady, and Frank might cum just from his voice. “Before the next show, just sneak away to one of the cars and fuck you against the steering wheel.” Fuck, Frank wants that, he wants to be nothing but a quick fuck before a show. Wants his ass to be burning through the entire concert, wants that reminder each time he thrashes around. 

“Please,” Frank’s so fucked out already, Gerard doesn’t miss his spot once and repeatedly hits it. His thighs are shaking under the other’s firm grasp, and he can feel his stomach start to swirl from the pressure. 

“Imagine if someone saw,” Gerard’s closer, speaking low. “Got to see how much Frank Iero loves cock,” and that has the younger one grabbing at him till their mouths meet. Gerard’s tongue doesn’t hesitate to aggressively lick into him, and then his thigh is getting pushed up. 

“Oh, fuck,” Frank feels fucking lightning through his body with the new angle and how Gerard starts rubbing at the bundle of nerves. Not even thrusting anymore, just rubbing in intervals of severity. 

Listening to Frank’s whines get higher in pitch, watching him bite his lip and feeling his legs shake with intensity is something Gerard won’t ever, ever, get tired of. “Cum for me, baby,” he can feel the walls around his fingers tighten, knowing Frank’s close.

With the permission to, Frank cums all over his shirt, and probably the car. He makes noises that go straight to Gerard’s dick, and he wishes he could get it up again to fuck the trembling body in front of him. Frank looks like a wet dream, his mouth wide open and head tossed back. His back arching, causing his ass to push down against Gerard’s fingers and press harder into his spot. Gerard lets him ride it out, doesn’t hold Frank back or thrust his fingers, and God, what a sight. There’s nothing hotter than Frank desperately trying to get whatever’s in his ass, deeper, as he cums. Each time they fuck it ends the same, Frank thrashing around and Gerard wondering how he got so lucky. 

After Frank’s cock is done leaking cum, Gerard pulls his fingers out and doesn’t miss the gasp. He pulls the tired body in then, letting Frank pants against his shoulder. “Such a good boy,” Gerard kisses his temple, and puts a hand in his hair, petting it. 

The dandelion ring is still there, looking looser than before, but hanging on. He stares at it while brushing through Frank’s locks, entertains the idea of forever again. And like on cue, he feels a kiss right on his jawline, and one of Frank’s hands holding his bicep, the other on the side of his neck. Gerard holds him tighter with the arm around his waist, and feels his friend’s breathing start to steady. 

Even though they’re sitting with Frank half naked in someone else’s car, the moment feels exceedingly intimate. Like they’re the only people in the world, like someone couldn’t walk up to the window and see Frank’s ass on display. They stay there for a moment, not wanting to move apart from each other. 

“What if we just sat here until Brian kicked us out,” Frank proposes, not moving his lips from the other’s neck. 

“As nice as your ass is, I don’t think he’s gonna want to see it,” even though he probably already has. 

“He’d be so lucky,” Frank wiggles his butt, and the thought of someone else seeing his ass reminds him of the threesome thing. “We should have a threesome,” he pitches, and is then being pushed back a little. 

“With Brian?” Gerard loves the guy, but there’s a line. Frank’s face looks equally horrified at the idea, though.

“Ew, no, God no,” he shakes his head, watching relief flood the other’s face. “But with someone.”

“I,” Gerard feels a rush of jealousy go through him, which he wasn’t expecting. He doesn’t even have the right to be jealous, it’s just an idea, and Frank isn’t his boyfriend. That fact makes him just as uncomfortable. “I didn’t know you were interested in sleeping with someone else. I mean, I guess we never said we couldn’t sleep with other people but we just… haven’t. Well, I haven’t and I haven’t seen you with anyone and we haven’t been using condoms so-” Gerard’s brain is going a mile a minute, being faced with the idea that maybe Frank’s been sleeping with other people or wants to. But he’s interrupted.

“No! Gee, oh my god,” Frank’s scooting closer and putting his hands behind Gerard’s neck, trying to comfort him since he’s clearly distressed over this. And Frank would be lying if he said it didn’t make him a little happy that he is. “I’m not sleeping with anyone else, haven’t been since we started, and I don’t want to.” He assures the other, who’s eyebrows relax a little in their strain. 

“Then why a threesome? If you don’t want to sleep with anyone else?” Gerard’s trying to piece it together. 

“Gee,” Frank giggles, like Gerard’s being completely ridiculous for not understanding. “I don’t want to sleep with anyone else like I do with you,” he clarifies. “And it’s just an idea so, nothing’s set in place. There’s no guy waiting for a response or anything, I just thought about it while I was blowing you just then and-”

“You were thinking about fucking someone else while you were blowing me?” Gerard wants to die. 

“Not like that! Fuck, this is coming out all wrong,” Frank’s heart is racing, he doesn’t want the one person he loves like this to think he’s fantasizing about some other guy while they fuck. “I just, you were fucking my mouth and it was really hot, obviously,” his voice still sounds rough from it, Gerard blushes. “So I was super fucking turned on and I thought ‘wow wouldn’t it be amazing if there were two Gerard’s so you could fuck my ass and mouth at the same time’ but that’s sadly not possible.” The idea makes Gerard feel hot all over, though, Frank really fucking loves cock. 

“I could fuck you with a dildo and fuck your mouth,” Gerard offers, and yeah, yeah, they should do that. 

“I’m all fucking for that, trust me, but it’s not the same. I want to do that, but I also want to have a threesome. Just, the thought of two men, you being one of them, gripping and fucking me is just-” he has to close his eyes and take a breath, and feels his spent cock get interested again. He won’t be able to get it up for a bit but the idea itself is enough to make him get hot all over. 

Gerard grips at Frank’s hips tightly from the mental image of it. Not because he’s angry over it, but because he’d really like to see that played out. 

“Just think about it,” Frank leans in closer, turning on his seductive voice. “You’d be completely in control, get to choose who and how they fuck me. What I can say and do.” He sees Gerard get interested, just from the look in his eyes, and how he starts rubbing his hands down from Frank’s hips to his thighs. “It’d be so hot, watching some guy use me, making him watch how easily I submit to you,” Gerard would get so dominating, Frank can see it now, how commanding and intense he’d be. Frank would cum ten time over just from that.

“You want that, baby? Two cocks inside you?” Gerard asks, moving a hand to one of Frank’s ass cheeks and squeezing. He’s warming up to the idea, watching Frank get filled up and used like that, watching him beg for it. 

He nods his head and in a shallow breath says, “Yeah,” he bites his lip, feeling how sore it is. “But only if you’re into it too, I’ll never bring it up again if you hate the idea.” The last thing he wants is to make Gerard feel uncomfortable or unwanted.

“Well, I don’t like the idea of anyone touching what’s mine,” Gerard curses himself the second he says it, because Frank isn’t his. But the younger man blushes, and looks down, probably embarrassed. “But it would be hot as fuck,” he’s fantasized about threesomes before, sharing someone with another guy. And before his feelings for Frank progressed, he thought about Frank being that someone. But he stopped thinking about it when he’d get repulsed by anyone even looking at Frank like that. In a controlled setting though, it could be exciting. 

“I’d still be yours, Gee,” Frank’s voice is quiet, weak, and laced with love. “Promise,” he kisses Gerard then, soft and sweet, feeling like it’s right. His heart won’t stop beating like this, he’s not sure what any of it is supposed to mean. If this is just Gerard claiming that sexaully, he owns him, or if in all other aspects too. Either way, Frank will say it, he’s Gerard’s.

“I’ll think about it, okay?” Gerard whispers when their lips part for a moment. He thinks his answer is yes, he thinks he wants to do this. But he’d rather secure whatever him and Frank have first. “So, you’re not like, unsatisfied or anything?” 

Frank leans back, smirk on his face, again acting like Gerard’s being ridiculous. “Do you see this?” He pulls at the hem of his shirt, presenting the cum all over it. “I’m completely, one-hundred percent satisfied by you.” Frank kisses him again, leaving Gerard’s cheeks pink. “A threesome is just a fun idea for both of us, I’m not going to crawl to other men and have one behind your back if you don’t want to. I won’t be disappointed, can’t be when I have you,” he smirks, trying to show just how little Gerard has to be worried about. 

Gerard wants to ask, “what’s stopping you? We aren’t together,” but he doesn’t imagine it’d play out well. And he doesn’t want to give the other any ideas, because the mere thought of Frank taking another man’s cock without permission to, is gut-wrenching. He’s suddenly very pleased he purchased those mood rings, Frank’s his. His.

Instead, he squeezes the other’s thighs and leans forward, catching Frank’s lips. Frank’s his, Frank said it himself, he’s Gerard’s. And it’s that knowledge that makes him recover so quickly from the disturbing thoughts. It’s what makes him drag the small man close, pressed against his chest, accepting the cum that’ll get on him too, and kisses him earnestly. 

They makeout for a while, until they hear a car going down the dirt road and they quickly part. Frank pulls his underwear and pants on while Gerard zips himself back in and adjusts the chair. Frank spots that it’s Pete and Mikey in what’s probably a rental car. Luckily, they don’t notice the two disheveled men. They wait a few minutes before driving to the bus and going inside. 

“Brian’s gonna have your necks if there’s cum in his car,” Mikey states, sitting on the couch and playing xbox with his boyfriend. 

Well, they thought they weren’t noticed. 

“Shut the fuck up, there isn’t,” Gerard responds. 

“Can’t say the same for Frank’s shirt.”

“Someone make him be quiet ,” Frank offers, stripping off his shirt and moving towards the laundry bin that’s just a trash bag. 

“On it,” Pete tosses his controller and grabs Mikey by the back of the neck, making him turn around, and plants a kiss. 

“Gross,” Gerard sighs and moves to the kitchenette sink to wash his hands because… ass fingers. 

“You can’t say shit when you’re groping Frank every five seconds,” Mikey spits, going back to his game. 

“Not true,” Gerard defends, but all three of them give him a stern look. “Okay, kind of true, fine, whatever.” He tries not to be too PDA since showing that amount of affection in front of people bothers him, but he’s been around the guys so much he forgets to consider them. Which, in hindsight, is probably a good thing.

“Gerard,” Pete puts his controller down and lets his character get eaten by zombies, making Mikey grunt in frustration. “I need to ask you about something.” Mikey rolls his eyes, probably knowing and not enjoying whatever it his boyfriend feels the need to discuss. 

“Okay, sure,” Gerard unzips his jacket, traces of cum on it too, and throws it in the trash bag.  
Noticing Frank’s bare chest, he takes off his sweatshirt and hands it over, “put that on,” he commands, eyeing the bruises on his torso and hips. Gerard doesn’t want Mikey seeings them and feeling uncomfortable, because the hip bruises are clearly not from just running into a table. Frank obeys with a blush and slips it on, letting the sleeves go past his hands and the hem to his upper thighs. 

He looks so fucking cute, just drowning in it, so Gerard can’t help put press a kiss to his forehead before following Pete to the back of the bus ans leaving Frank a blushing mess.

There’s no telling what Pete needs to chat about, it’s usually something unexpected that makes them rethink his sanity. Last time he had an idea about a comic book character whose power is writing comic books. So, really anything could come out of that man’s mouth. Gerard kind of gets why Mikey’s into him, he’s like the opposite of the lanky man. And even if he didn’t get it, he won’t deny Mikey’s been happier with Pete. Therefor much more annoying in trying to get Gerard to have that same happiness with Frank. 

“What’s that about?” Frank asks when the older two men go into the back of the bus.

“Pete has another comic idea, and before you ask, I don’t know yet. He wants Gerard’s blessing first so he knows I won’t make fun of him like last time.” Mikey explains, putting his controller away and sitting up on the couch more. He pats the seat next to him, asking Frank to sit next to him, who complies.

“Well, if he doesn’t get the blessing, Gerard will tell me anyways and I’ll pass along the details.” Frank steals the water bottle in Mikey’s lap and takes a sip.

“Ew, keep it,” Mikey grimaces when he tries to hand it back.

“I’m not sick!” He swears.

“There’s still cum on your chin, I'm not drinking after you until your mouth gets power washed with bleach.” Mikey eyes the dried up blotch, making Frank quickly rub at it with his, Gerard’s, sleeve. 

“Sorry,” he’s not.

“Speaking of Gerard,” Mikey sighs, “is he done being dumb yet?”

Frank almost chokes on his water from the laugh forced out of him, “what do you mean?” He can kind of guess, Frank’s not deaf, or blind. He overhears Mikey’s pep-talks for Gerard to make a proper move sometimes, and he sees the way the younger brother looks at Gerard when Frank enters a room. What he overhears is never anything good, though. It doesn’t confirm anything for Frank. It’s always Mikey telling Gerard to admit it, and Gerard saying there’s nothing to admit. And that always, always hurts. 

“You know what I mean,” the tension builds with that.

“Yeah,” Frank twiddles his thumbs, sighing. “Today’s been nice, but it barely seems to matter when he can’t just say it. Makes me wonder if there’s anything to say at all.” Maybe this is all one-sided, and Gerard’s just keeping him close until someone better comes along. Although, he can’t imagine his best friend being that cruel.

“Trust me, there’s something to say.”

“How can you know that?” Doesn’t seem like Gerard ever says anything from what Frank’s overheard.

Mikey smirks, “I’m his brother, I just do.” And Frank wishes he was convinced by that. Not wanting to talk about it anymore, though, Frank just shrugs and lays back on the couch. He lets the taller, skinnier man pull him into a side hug. They stay there, Mikey playing with his hair and just being there, being a friend. 

“So,” Frank starts, “tell me about you and Pete.” Much like his older brother, Mikey never shares anything personal just randomly. So Frank makes sure to do regular Mikey-life checkups to see how things are going. 

He learns that Mikey and Pete are having their one year anniversary in two months, and that they’re planning to go to Disney World to celebrate. It’s kind of funny to imagine Mikey in such a busy, hectic place, but he’s always more sociable with Pete around. He also learns that when tour ends, Mikey’s moving in with Pete, which makes sense since him and Gerard’s lease ended before they hit the road. Frank finds out about their plans for the rest of the day, which consist of going to a farm to pet cows and then having dinner in Pete’s hotel room. He figures he won’t see Mikey again till morning. 

“I’ve been blessed!” Pete practically jumps into the living space of the bus, with a huge grin and an annoyed Gerard behind him. Frank snaps out of the trance he didn’t know he was under, had gotten lost in Mikey’s voice. The Way’s have a tendency to do that to him. It’s only then that Frank realizes that his vision is blurry and there’s water running down his cheek. He’s crying. 

“Oh yeah?” Mikey asks, skeptically, and retracting his arm from around the other. Pete drops next to the other side of his boyfriend then, a hand on his knee.

“Yes! Now I can tell you all about it and you aren’t allowed to laugh,” Mikey nods in agreement, turning to pay his full attention to Pete, thankfully not noticing Frank’s tears. 

But Gerard does, “Frankie?” He leans down in front of the couch, and cradles Frank’s head in his hands. “What’s the matter?” He’s whispering, knowing Frank wouldn’t want the others to turn their attention on him. 

“Nothing,” and before Frank wipes the wetness away, the older man already is with his thumbs. “I don’t even know why I’m crying, I think I’m just tired or something.” He knows why, though, the second he meets Gerard eyes it comes crashing back. The entire time he was listening to Mikey talk, he could only think of how him and Gerard may never have that. Not the anniversary trips, not the moving in, at least not in the way Frank would want. He doesn’t have to pet cows but he thinks he’d really like to, he’d pet a fucking ant if Gerard took him and said it was a date. The hotel dinners happen often enough, but under the impression of just two friends eating. He doesn’t need anything fancy, just the knowledge that there’s something more between them, that Gerard feels the same.

“Okay baby,” he sighs, and Frank’s face flushes at the name. Gerard’s never called him that in front of people, and even though it’s just a whisper that the other’s most likely didn’t hear, it means something. Gerard gives him a soft kiss, barely even there and continues to gently rub his cheek. “I’m sure you’re hungry, I don’t think a ring pop and caffeinated liquids are enough to sustain you,” Gerard puts one of his hands down over Frank’s, and thumbs at the plastic band of the ring pop. 

Frank cracks a smile at the comment, and focuses on how Gerard’s hands feel against his cheek and hand. Moments like these are the ones where he feels loved, Gerard being so gentle and caring, looking at him like this when his brother is only sitting less than a foot away. 

“How about I make some pasta?” Gerard offers, hoping that food is what Frank needs to feel better. He feels the younger nod under his hand, so he gives Frank one more light kiss before getting up. “Anyone else hungry?” He figures he’ll make enough for the four of them while he’s at it. 

“We’re having dinner later, actually, we should probably leave for the cow petting,” Pete answers, getting up from his spot and grabbing his jacket. 

“Cow petting?” Gerard asks, unsure why he’s even surprised at this point. 

“Yeah! Not much else to do here but show cows love before they meet their fate,” Pete explains, earning a sad whine from Frank.

“Set them free,” he sounds like he’s going to start crying again.

“Sorry man,” Pete sympathizes. 

“Say sorry to the cows, not me,” Frank’s sagging into the couch. If unrequited love wasn’t depressing enough, now he has the cows on his mind too. 

“I’ll pass the message,” Pete ruffles his hair, and usually Frank would fight back but he just lets it happen and grunts in response. 

“Hey, Gee, can I talk to you for a second?” Mikey’s up by his shoulder and Gerard simply nods, filling the pot with water. 

“Sure, what’s up?” He turns on the burner and put the pot over it. 

“I mean in private,” Mikey clarifies and after a questioning look, Gerard puts the burner on low and moves to the back of the bus again.

“You have a comic idea too?” Gerard jokes when his brother closes the curtain separating the two ends of the bus. 

“Yeah, it’s really cool. There’s this emotionally closed off asshole who fights through his insecurities and fear of being vulnerable to admit he’s in love with his best friend.” Mikey says it in one breath, not caring to sugar coat it. 

“Mikey-” Gerard sighs, he’s about to explain himself when he gets cut off again.

“No, no, Gerard, you can’t fuck this up, okay? I know you. You’ll push him away and then get super fucking depressed and isolated because that’s what you do. And you can’t do that to Frank, he’s the only person on this planet dumb enough to want to be with you. Stop being such a fucking-” Mikey’s voice stays low, angry, and urgent. 

“Stop, I know, I know.” Gerard tries to defuse the situation, and his brother cocks an eyebrow, surprised by his admission. “I’m not going to, okay? I want to be with him, he should know that by now.” He wishes Frank could just know. That he didn’t even have to say anything, and everything would just fall into place. 

Mikey scoffs at that, “Gee, he’s not you. He needs more than pretend wedding bands,” he glances at the green on his brother’s ring finger. Gerard blushes, wondering if Frank said something, or if Mikey is just that observant. “He needs you to say it, needs words and commitment. You get that?” 

Gerard nods, he knows, he fucking knows. “What were you guys talking about, by the way? Frank was crying.” He didn’t believe the tired excuse for a second.

“I was talking about my relationship with Pete, and how happy we are,” that hits harder for Gerard than Mikey’s outburst. “Which, in retrospect, wasn’t a good idea,” fawning over his relationship to a friend struggling in one, yeah, he fucked up. But Frank asked, and when he gets to talk about Pete he can’t stop himself.

“Fuck,” Gerard rubs at his face and eyes, trying not to get too down on how much he’s been screwing this up. 

“Yeah,” Mikey sympathizes, “so, are you gonna stop being a dumbass?” 

“That’s impossible,” he chuckles at himself, stopping when he realizes how unamused Mikey is. “I will, Mikey, I’ll tell him something,” he’s just not sure what yet. 

“You’ll tell him that you love him.”

“But what if I don’t?” How the fuck is he supposed to know?

“You do, you’re just overthinking it,” Mikey argues.

“Well,” Gerard sighs, “how do you know that you’re in love with Pete?” He figures he can compare and contrast.

Mikey goes red at the question, Gerard knows he doesn’t like talking about this kind of stuff, being emotionally closed off runs in the family. “I just know, I think of him and experience this warm, whole feeling? It’s hard to explain.” Gerard’s stomach swirls, because he knows that feeling well. “And no matter what we do, I have fun because it’s with him.”

“Like cow petting?”

Mikey snorts, “yeah, like cow petting. He thinks of the most random shit, and I fucking hate farms, but I’ll go just to see him smile.” He grows more serious then, “I know because I can’t think of a future without him.” Gerard knows that feeling, too. “Just imagine if tour ended and Frank didn’t ever want to see you again.” Gerard grimaces at that, feeling a pit in his stomach. 

Mikey must notice his discomfort, “exactly, it’s horrible. I can’t even fathom what life would be like if Pete weren’t in it anymore. There’s nothing that makes me happier than him, nothing I would put above him. If for some reason I had to pick between him and the band, I’d choose Pete in a heartbeat. But I love him because I know he’d never make me do that. Tour is hard on our relationship, being apart isn’t easy, but we love each other enough to know that we need to do this. Knowing that I get days like this, where he’s here, is enough. I’d wait months for one day with Pete over seeing someone I didn’t love every day. Would you do that for Frank? Not be with anyone else for months on end if it meant you got to see him for just a day?”

Gerard doesn’t even have to think about it, and his voice wavers when he responds, “yes.”

His brother smiles, and rests a hand on his shoulder, “see? You love him. Stop trying to figure out what the symptoms are. You overthink things, Gee. Is he the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Yes or no. Don’t think about it.”

“Yes,” Gerard listens and doesn't let his mind runaway with the word love.

“Now you just have to tell him that,” Mikey says like it’s so easy. 

“Okay,” he says dramatically, making the other role his eyes. 

“He loves you, Gerard, he won’t deny you.”

“That’s not it,” he knows Frank loves him, “what if I fuck it up? What if I go back to my old ways and hurt him? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, Mikey.” 

“You won’t, you’re clean, you’re sober, and you’re staying that way.” Mikey drills that into his head, “you’re hurting him now, Gee.” His heart drops at that. “You being too scared of fucking things up is fucking things up.” 

Mikey has a point, “I guess you’re right.” 

“I am right, like always,” he lightens the mood. “So, are you good? Gonna put Frank out of his misery?”

“You want me to kill him or commit to him?” 

“Gerard.”

“Okay, don’t worry, I’ll sweep him off his feet, all that,” he steps back from his brother, dramatically waving his arms. 

“You better or I’m fucking punting you,” he says sternly, and despite how slender he is, Gerard believes him. With that, Mikey gives him a smile and hard pat on the shoulder, “I’ll see you in the morning, remember not to think.” 

“Got it,” he laughs at the contradiction, and watches Mikey leave through the curtain.

Gerard stays there until he hears his brother and Pete shout “goodbye” and exit the bus. Shutting his brain off isn't an easy feat. He’s already admitted he’s in love to someone, now he just needs to say the actual words to the person it matter most to. Easier said than done, but he can't risk losing Frank, especially not like this. 

“Hey, what’s up with all the secret meetings?” Frank asks with a faint giggle, knees up on the couch and facing Gerard like he’d been waiting. Seeing him there, curled in himself and a faint smile, that warm, whole feeling coming back. He wants Frank, he knows that, but it's only half the battle. The other half is not letting those fears creep back in.

“Just Mikey pointing out I’m a dumbass,” Gerard tries to stay casual for now, he’s not going to try and woo him right here in the tour bus when Ray could walk in any second. He’s not even sure where Ray is, probably on a hike or spending hours on the phone with his wife. Or both. Instead, he turns the burner back up to get the water boiling for their pasta.

“Well, someone’s gotta,” Frank sighs, smirking when Gerard gives a pointed look.

“Mhm, get your smartass over here,” Gerard leans against the counter and watches as the smaller man practically jumps out of his seat. When he gets close, all smiles, Gerard pulls him closer by his cheek. That feeling doesn't leave but grows stronger, the one he’s learned to identify as love. 

He tilts Frank’s head up, to get a better look at his beautiful friend. His eyes are looking more green than brown today, a little red around the edges from his tears. His lips are swollen from earlier, making them look slightly bigger than they naturally are. Gerard can’t look at him long enough. 

“What about Pete’s secret meeting?” Frank asks, resting his arm against the one wrapped around him, squeezing at Gerard’s bicep. The other arm he swings around the taller man’s neck, pulling them chest to chest. Gerard takes a slow, shallow breath, breathing in the scent of the one he loves mixed with his own.

“Comic idea for a bassist who can travel through dimensions by playing specific notes,” Gerard sums it up, not wanting to spend much time talking about that when he has Frank in his arms.

He makes an impressed noise, “that’s actually pretty cool.”

“Yeah, I’m excited to help him out with it. But how are you feeling?” Gerard’s still concerned, even more so now that he knows it’s because of him. 

Frank rolls his eyes, still smiling. “I told you, I’m fine, just tired and hungry.” Frank’s never been a good liar, not like Gerard. Not that Gerard makes a habit of lying, just a habit of covering what he’s feeling. Frank wears his heart on his sleeve, both a blessing and a curse. 

Gerard isn’t sure whether he should press or just accept the lie, he decides to do neither. Instead, he rubs a little at the younger’s cheek, and speaks softly. “Do you know how much you mean to me?” 

Frank’s eyes flutter shut, as if the question hit him like a wave. “Gee,” it's less than a whisper. It’s not knowing how to respond, unsure if he even wants Gerard to continue. Something tells him Mikey had a chat with Gerard about him, about them. And assuming that, and seeing Gerard be affectionate right after, almost makes him wish the other would stop. He doesn't want forced love, and it’s embarrassing to think that he looks so desperate.

“I'm serious, Frankie,” Gerard is good with words when he can write them down, erase and rewrite. In moments like these, though, he feels uselessly tongue tied. “You’re the most important person in my life, I mean that,” his family doesn't count, they’ll always be important, they know they are. But Frank doesn't seem to know, which is ridiculous given that Gerard doesn't think he could breathe without him. 

Frank seems only slightly swayed by the sentiment, though. “If this is about whatever Mikey said to you,” he starts, knowing he should probably just accept it and move on. “I don't want you to feel forced to say anything you don't really feel and-” He gets cut off by a harsh kiss, quickly turning soft when Gerard moves his hand down the other’s torso. He has Frank in both arms now, wrapped tightly, trying to convey the message that this is all him and he feels. 

But he remembers then, that Frank needs words, not kisses. Well, he needs both, but in this situation… words. So, he slowly pulls away, and rests his forehead against the other’s. 

“It’s hard for me, sweetheart,” he sighs, and feels Frank’s grip on him loosen. Gerard just holds him tighter. “But I promise, it’s only you, okay?” He doesn’t want anyone else, only Frank, now and forever. “I need you to know that, and no one’s telling me to feel anything, or pretend I do. Actually,” Gerard huffs, “Mikey told me to stop pretending I don’t feel anything.”

Frank knows it’s difficult for the other, knows this can’t be easy. But the fact that it’s so difficult for him to just say he loves Frank, makes Frank feel like maybe if he were just someone else it’d be easier to say. That maybe Gerard finds it so hard because he doesn’t love him. Not in the way Frank wants him to. “So, what do you feel?” Frank looks up, pulling back a little just so he can focus in on Gerard’s distressed eyes. 

“I,” he feels that he needs to be with Frank, hold him until they die, kiss him until their lips are bloody. “I just feel you, always, even when we’re far away; I feel you.” Gerard notices then how much he’s nervously roaming his hands up and down the smaller one’s back, sides, just needing Frank to understand. Frank’s not saying anything though, not moving further away either, and Gerard curses at himself. “Need you to understand, need you to, I can’t lose you Frankie. I can’t-” 

“Hey, hey,” Frank looks surprised by that, “you’re not losing me.” He holds onto Gerard’s face with both hands, trying to drill it in, make it as clear as possible. “I feel you too, Gee,” he says softly, he gets it. He feels Gerard in his heart and soul, no matter how far or close they are.

“I never want to be apart from you,” Gerard says it in a breath, not even thinking before it leaves his mouth and the implications it has. But that's what he’s supposed to be doing, so he tries to bury how vulnerable if makes him feel.

“Never?” Frank knows it may just be an exaggeration, but his heart flutters anyway, and he pushes himself closer. Their noses touching again, eyes closed, and breathing in each other. He feels Gerard’s scent relax his body, making him feel safe, content, warm. 

As nervous as he is, he can tell Frank likes the idea of never. Gerard rubs his nose against the other’s, and whispers, “never.” 

Frank’s the one to initiate this kiss, pulling himself up on his toes to connect their lips and wrap his arms tight around Gerard. It’s soft and comforting, but passionate in how they hold each other. 

It may not be a declaration of love, but it’s a promise. Frank can work with that, never letting go means forever with him. That doesn’t have to mean romantically, but it sounds like it, so Frank will take it as such for now. Let this promise hold him over until the need to hear those specific words becomes painful again. 

They kiss until the sound of sizzling water breaks them apart, Gerard cursing and Franks jumping back from the noise. The pot of water boiled over during their moment, sending steam into the air. Gerard cleans it up and pours the pasta in, setting the microwave timer to seven minutes or else he’ll forget to check and the noodles will become mush. 

“So I have an idea,” Gerard pulls Frank towards him again by the hips.

“That’s dangerous,” Frank jokes, resting his hands on the other’s chest. 

“You seemed to like my ideas when my fingers were up your ass.”

“Point taken,” he blushes, and wraps his arms around the taller man. “So what’s your idea?” 

“We pack up the food, go to the lake, watch the sunset,” it’s perfect, and just the place to give Frank his mood ring and maybe, actually, certainly, tell the love of his life that he is the love of his life. 

Frank’s heart swells as just the concept, the romance of the situation, almost like a date. “Yeah?” He smiles, hopeful. 

“Yeah,” Gerard responds like it’s obvious he’s serious, like it’s something they do all the time. “It’s still our honeymoon, after all. Can’t have you eating dinner in a dirty bus.”

Frank hums happily, “what a gentleman,” it’s more sarcastic than sincere. Gerard dramatically shrugs, and quickly kisses him before unwrapping them to stir the pasta. 

Gerard packs up all the food when it’s ready, bowls, forks, and napkins. And because he does want to make this romantic, he grabs an emergency candle from the back of the bus, and a red cup they stole from pizza hut (to put a flower in). He grabs a new jacket, not covered in cum, and two blankets. One to lay on, and one to cuddle up in because Frank will bitch about being cold the second the sun goes down.

“Ready?” Frank asks, he’d been sitting on the couch as Gerard packed because he refused to let Frank help. 

It feels like a loaded question because for a moment Gerard doesn’t feel ready, he feels scared, nervous that he won’t be able to get the words out. And what will happen if he does get the words out. It seems overwhelming, but then fingers are intertwining with his and Frank’s smiling, radiant face is right there. It’ll be okay.

Gerard responds with a kiss to his forehead and leads them out of the bus with a giggling Frank in hand. 

“Let me take a blanket,” they’re walking through the forest again, Gerard has both blankets swung over his shoulder and the backpack on. 

“Nonsense, you’re not lifting a finger tonight,” he wants to makeup for all the dates they didn’t have. 

Frank laughs, “and people say chivalry is dead.” 

They reach the lake and it’s grown to be more magnificent since the last time. Golden skies reflecting off the water and more wildlife out than before. Geese with their babies cruising along the water, even a few deer at the very end, far away from the two men. They find a spot under a large pine try that is closer to the lake than the forest line. Gerard lays down the blanket, but stops Frank from sitting.

“Not yet, turn around,” Gerard commands with a smirk, watching Frank give a curious look before he puts his back towards the other. 

“I know my ass is great but you can see it up close,” he jokes. 

“Oh, I know baby, and I plan to do so,” Gerard smiles at himself, trying not to be distracted by his friend currently shaking his ass. 

Gerard takes out the pasta, still hot, and puts it in separate bowls. He fishes out their bottled water and lays them on the blanket, along with Frank’s refilled thermos. Looking around, he finds a couple dandelions close to the blanket and picks them, putting them in the pizza hut cup. Gerard pulls out the candle and lights it, putting it near the flowers in between where he set up their food. The setup isn’t anything out of a movie, and for a moment he’s worried Frank might be more amused than charmed.

“Okay, c’mere sweetheart, you can look now,” Gerard holds his breath and watches Frank turn around. “I know it’s not much, but I figured this was better than nothing,” He can’t read Frank’s face and it’s making him nervous, Frank just sits down in front of his bowl, and keeps darting his eyes around the small setting. Gerard’s heart is sinking, he knew this wouldn’t be good enough. He’s using a pizza hut cup for christ’s sake. “God, I should have taken you out or something this is like, the shittiest first date, I’m sorry,” and then Frank starts fucking crying. Only a couple tears, nothing major, but Gerard feels like an idiot nonetheless. 

“No, Gee, this is perfect,” Frank grabs Gerard’s hand that was resting on his knee. “Is this really our first date? Do you mean that?” Frank’s heart is fucking leaping out of his chest and he keeps brushing tears away but he’s just so happy. Overwhelmingly so. 

Gerard blushes, but relieved. “I mean,” he squeezes the other’s hand, “I know we’ve gone out a lot but we never clarified what it meant. I always assumed it was just on a friend basis, but I don’t want this to be just friends having dinner. Is that okay?” 

“Of fucking course it’s okay, jesus Gerard, you-” he pushes himself up and grabs his friend’s face with his free hand, planting a kiss. “I wasn’t expecting anything, ya know? You could have like, spat in my face and called it a date and I would have happily cried over it for fuck’s sake.” He laughs at himself, knowing he’s just proving how fucking gone he is for Gerard.

“Yeah? So, this is our first date,” he smiles, “huh.” Frank just kisses him again because, wow, first date, this is real now. “And this is okay?” Gerard glances over the kind of sad dinner setup he has going on. He didn’t even think of it as a date until he was putting the flower in the cup, and figured that pointing this out as a romantic outing is a good way to let Frank know how he feels. 

“I told you, Gee, it’s perfect, I’m fucking overjoyed,” and that’s all Gerard wants. 

“I only ever want to make you happy,” he catches Frank’s eyes, trying to push sincerity through a shared look. “I don’t ever want to make you cry, of course, unless it’s from that,” he thinks of before when Frank was obviously distressed over him. He never wants Frank to feel like that again.

“Or your dick,” Frank smirks but covers it up by taking a bite of pasta. 

“I try to woo you and this is what I get,” Gerard scoffs, but finds comfort in the other’s humor.

Frank sighs, “Gerard,” he gets the other’s attention. “You’ve had me wooed since 2002.” The second he laid eyes on the older man thrashing around on stage, Frank was hooked. 

The urge happens then, to tell Frank he loves him, but not yet. Gerard wants to make the moment perfect, and saying it with half chewed pasta in his mouth isn’t exactly romantic. 

“Can’t believe you saw past that mess,” Gerard isn’t exactly fond of thinking about his time then. The drinking and the drugs, it’s still hard. Every day is a battle, but not even giving himself the option helps. Not to mention time, it’s easier now than it was the first month. Yet, sometimes it feels like he only got sober a day ago. Those are the moments he doesn’t want Frank near him, doesn’t want to put him through the shit he did all over again. But those are also the days Frank clings to him the most.

“There was nothing to see past,” he says a matter of factly, and Gerard tries his best to pretend it didn’t make his heart stop. 

There hasn’t been a time Frank ever thought his friend’s issues were too much to deal with. Sure, seeing the person he loved most be sick, hurt, and beaten up by his own mind was painful as hell; but it never made Frank want him less. He’s had issues of his own, and Gerard working to get sober is what made him quit the more extreme things that were so easy to access in the music scene. No one makes him prouder or more inspired than his best friend. A fucked up past and mental illness could never change that. Even on the days, weeks… where it seems like Gerard’s only wish is to be left in a ditch somewhere with only his haunting thoughts, Frank stays. Frank always stays.

They eat in silence, Gerard too caught up in just feeling to respond like a normal fucking human. Frank doesn’t seem to mind, though, because he’s too busy shoving food into his mouth. When they’re done, the sky is growing more vibrant in pinks and oranges. Gerard just gets more nervous as the sun starts to set, but each time he glances over at Frank it turns into a different kind of nervous, butterflies. 

Gerard blows out the candle because he’s not interested in starting a forest fire, and puts their bowls to the side. He sits himself against the tree, and doesn’t even have to ask before Frank sits himself between the other’s legs, back against his chest. 

“Thanks for dinner,” Frank twists around a little, giving a warm smile as Gerard covers them in the extra blanket he brought. Even though he hasn’t complained about being cold yet, Gerard thinks it’s best to go ahead and prevent the shivers all together. The small man snuggles closer, and feels a wave of heat go from his head to his toes when strong arms wrap around him. 

“It was so difficult to make,” Gerard sighs, “handmade each and every noodle.” He slides a hand under Frank’s, his, sweatshirt and rubs at the smooth skin there. 

“Damn, the things you do for me,” Frank plays along, but despite the pasta lie, it’s still true. Gerard goes the extra mile for him when no one else does. Takes care of him when he’s sick, massages his hands before and after shows (finger cramps are a bitch), stays up with him when he’s frustrated trying to nail a riff, always saves coffee for him even if it means Gerard has to make a new pot for himself. There’s countless other examples, all minor and objectively insignificant, but to Frank they mean the world. 

“I know, you’re so lucky,” Gerard can’t help but laugh at himself, fully believing Frank could do so much better.

Frank turns around enough to be able to face the other man, and feels Gerard’s hands hold him a little tighter, not wanting him to move away. He doesn’t, though, he moves closer and kisses Gerard with a hand behind his neck. 

Frank feels so fucking lucky, and happily kisses the doubt away. They seperate after a moment, only to look in Gerard’s eyes to softly, and earnestly say, “I am.” He is, every second spent with the older man is one he cherishes. There isn’t anyone else he can imagine loving as much as he does Gerard, anyone who makes him happier than the person holding him right now.

Gerard squeezes Frank’s sides and tries to push down his own blush. Frank’s long curl falls perfectly over his eye, his lips in an easy smile and cheeks pink. The flower Gerard had placed in his hair isn’t there anymore, probably fallen out during their activities in the car. Almost like a reflux, Gerard puts his finger where the flower used to be, causing his palm to rest against the other’s cheek. Frank can’t help but lean into the comforting touch, and Gerard can’t help but kiss him again. 

Their lips fit like puzzle pieces, made for each other. It’s delicate, Gerard gently sucking Frank’s bottom lip and tracing his fingers along the other’s jaw. He lets his hand slide down Frank’s neck, chest, side, then sneak under the sweater to press at the flesh there. Nothing feels better than Frank’s skin, his lips, him. 

Gerard can’t help but feel guilt, he’s known how much he loves touching and kissing his best friend since the first time it happened on stage. Yet he’s made Frank wait, wonder, doubt. 

“I’m sorry,” Gerard breaks the kiss to say, pain clear in his voice. 

“For what?” Frank panics, because what he’s assuming is that this was all a mistake. That Gerard’s regretting this date and the past year, fuck, the past few years. 

“For making you wait, making you doubt what you mean to me, making you cry,” god, he’s such a fucking asshole. Spent all this time acting like Frank wasn’t the only person on earth he wanted to be with.

“Gee,” he gives a weak smile, “I’m fine, I promise, I don’t hold anything against you.” He feels like maybe he should, but he can’t bring himself to. 

“It’s okay if you do, though, I deserve it,” he can’t stop pressing his hands over Frank’s back, hips, sides. Trying to hang on to him just in case he up and leaves.

“No, shut up, it’s not your fault that this stuff freaks you out. I understand, I really do. I’m sorry for being so fucking insecure and needing like, a declaration of love and all that shit.” Because really, practically crying to Mikey over his brother has got to be a low point. 

“I don’t want you to feel insecure, though, especially not about us,” Gerard gives him a firm squeeze, “I mean, we’re pretty secure, right?”

“I like to think so,” Frank rubs at the hair behind the other’s neck.

“We haven’t been seeing other people, ya know?” 

“I know,” Frank’s smile brightens, along with his eyes. 

“I haven’t been thinking of anyone else, either,” it’s only Frank, like a broken record, or projector, both. 

“Neither have I, Gee, only you.”

“There’s no one else I want to be with, Frankie,” he watches Frank practically fucking melt at the confession. 

Frank kisses him again, making Gerard’s skin prickle up as if it’s the first time. He tastes like tomato sauce and herbal tea with a hint of tobacco. It shouldn’t be so fucking good, but it is. Frank’s morning breath isn’t even anything to be upset about, he always tastes like tea and tobacco and, fuck, roses or something. Gerard doesn’t even know what the hell roses taste like. 

When they part, it’s not far, resting their foreheads together, softly panting. “We should probably watch the sunset,” Frank reminds them, but not making any effort to move. 

“You taste like a sunset, same thing,” it sounds right, but Frank chuckles, all breathy into his mouth.

“What does a sunset taste like?” 

“Pasta and tea, roses and smokes.” 

Frank does another breathy laugh, then fits their mouths back together. The sunset can wait. 

He isn’t even turned on, really, just in need of being pressed against the person he loves and being kissed passionately. Gerard provides that, holding him so fucking intently but kissing him like he’s scared to hurt him. Frank’s definitely getting beard burn because Gerard didn’t shave and the scruff is rubbing against him but fuck. It’s comforting and he loves being able to pull away and feel the slight sting of it, see the pink around his lips from the irritation. Despite the slight roughness, Gerard is caring, gentle, making Frank feel warm, loved. 

By the time they finally decide to actually watch the sunset, the sun has already disappeared behind the trees.

“I didn’t even think about that,” Gerard starts, Frank now settling back in his spot. “We can’t even see the sunset, the trees hide it.”

Frank starts giggling, and Gerard can feel how his stomach shakes from it under his arms. “Oh my god, you’re right.” 

“The sky is still nice, though, colorful,” the pinks and oranges are at their most intense point of saturation, and Gerard thinks this is as good of a time as ever to give Frank the ring. 

“Yeah, I’m definitely not gonna complain. Maybe we’ll actually get to see stars tonight, it’s been a while,” playing only cities doesn’t provide much stargazing opportunities. They’ve had some luck in a couple of the southern states, though. The farmland ones where the crowd is more intense than in the cities. Something about conservative hick towns make the kids go fucking feral during their shows. Frank gets it, he completely gets it, he used to be the conservative town kid who bruised himself up in shitty mosh pits. Hell, he still is that kid, it’s not something he can really part ways with. 

“That’d be sick, and like, shooting stars. I haven’t seen on in years, honestly,” Gerard gets a pang in his chest, for a moment missing laying in his mom’s backyard watching the sky with Mikey. Even though things are a million times better now, he wishes he could go back for just a few minutes. Maybe tell Mikey that things will change, he’ll find love, not to be so hard on himself. Maybe a warning to stay away from Chris and any house parties concerning him. Gerard thinks he’d tell himself to get the fuck better quicker, because there’s a really, really cute guy waiting for him to get his shit together. The wasted years, that’s going to stick with him for a while.

“Would you make a wish?” Frank asks, feeling Gerard move around behind him and hearing the backpack zipper open and close. 

“Of course,” it’s necessary. Also, he’ll take all the chances he can get. 

“What would you wish for?” Frank plays with the one hand still left against his stomach. 

“Thought you weren’t supposed to share,” Gerard holds the rings in his hand, waiting for Frank to finish his star-wish investigation. 

“This is hypothetical, we probably won’t see one,” Frank defends. 

“But if we do then I’m fucked,” Gerard argues. 

He hears the smaller man sigh, “as if there’s not like, a million other things you could wish for?”

“Well, there’s only so much I want,” he wants Frank, and maybe a cat. He hopes Frank’s future dogs, that Gerard knows he’ll get, will be cool with cats.

“Like what?” 

Gerard rolls his eyes, “for you to give me your left hand.” It’s currently resting on his arm that’s wrapped around Frank’s waist. 

“Oh,” Frank sounds surprised and lifts it up. Gerard moves his arm so that he can hold Frank’s hand, and brush against the plastic from the ring pop. He slides the ring off, and hears Frank whine from the loss. “Is the honeymoon over?” 

“No, baby,” Gerard wants to laugh at Frank’s clear disappointment in the thought, finding it endearing, but holds back. “I’m upgrading it.” He kisses the other’s temple, and lets Frank watch this time as he slips on the mood ring. “It’s not much of an upgrade, but looks nicer and will stay on a bit longer. Plus, I get to know your mood.” 

“It’s a mood ring?” Frank looks closer at it, and realizes he has to, once again, wipe a fucking tear. It’s not like it’s even an engagement ring, and he tries not to notice the small part of him that’s disappointed it’s not. But still, a ring, that actually looks nice and that Gerard wants him to wear for longer.

“Yeah,” Gerard kisses his cheek then, tasting salt water when he licks his lips. “I have one too, I remembered this time. I love the one you made, but it’s falling apart a little.” He has to let go of Frank’s hand take off the flower ring, which breaks off with only slight tug. 

“He will be missed,” Frank picks up the sad flower stem and twists it between his fingers. 

Gerard chuckles, “we’ll never forget.” He puts on his own mood ring, watching as the color instantly changes. 

“What does dark blue mean?” Frank whispers, his nose pressed against Gerard’s cheek with how close they are. “Mine’s dark blue too,” he puts his hand over the other’s to show. Gerard reaches back into his bag and pulls out the small plastic chart. 

“It means romance, love,” he lets the chart fall to his side, and holds Frank’s hands with both of his own. He thumbs over the ring, feeling the smooth rissen stone and focusing on how real it looks. How he can so easily picture an actual ring with a proper stone on Frank’s tattooed finger. “Guess these are pretty accurate.”

“Guess they are,” He’s not sure if that was a declaration of love, but it’s close. 

“I meant it, ya know,” Gerard starts, still pressing over the ring and holding Frank tight. 

“Meant what?” Frank tries to look up so he can meet the older man’s eyes, but ends up pressing their noses together. Only a slight push forward and they’d be kissing. 

“When I said you were mine, I meant it,” Gerard moves his right hand to the younger’s cheek, thumbing over his bottom lip, “you’re mine.” 

“Yeah?” The word barely comes out because he’s getting choked up, trying hard to fight the water in his eyes. 

“Yeah,” Gerard’s fucking sure of it, “and not just when I'm fucking you,” he feels he has to make it clear because of how possessive he is during sex. He doesn't want Frank to think he only means it in that way. “But all the time, in every way, you’re mine.” 

Frank didn't think he’d ever want to be anybody's because of how controlled he felt he was as a kid. But Gerard doesn't make him feel closed off or owned or anything of the sort, but completely free. Just… protected, warm, appreciated.

“In every way?” He just has to be sure, has to make it clear what Gerard’s implying. 

“In every way,” the older man kisses his temple again, trying to show how certain he is. “You’re all I'll ever want,” he plays with Frank’s ring more, which gives Frank the idea to do the same with the other’s.

“You're all I'll ever want, too,” Frank feels like he should be saying something more, but he’s doing his best not to start full on sobbing. It's not an “I love you” but it’s parallel to it. Being Gerard’s, knowing Gerard wants him and only him forever. If that's not love, then he isn't sure what is. Maybe he just needs to learn to read between the lines, because it becomes painfully clear how much Gerard’s show his love in his own way. 

They share a meaningful kiss that doesn't last long as the angle is weird, but it's okay because it says enough. This is a sure deal, him and Gerard, they sealed it. But one thing he doesn't fully understand is the mood rings. 

“So, when does our honeymoon end if these rings are going to last for a while?” Frank wipes a tear from his eyes, feeling way too fucking much. He needs to pull himself together, but with how Gerard's holding him and declaring his feelings, practically his love, how can he control it? This is what he’s been yearning for for years. This is all he’s wanted ever since he met the man, and now he has it. 

“Well,” Gerard didn't think that far ahead with this, just knew he needed Frank to know that they're together and it's real. “It doesn’t have to end, really, it can just morph.” 

“Morph?” 

“Yeah,” he doesn’t stop thumbing over Frank’s ring, “from a fake honeymoon to a real relationship, and if you want, the rings stay on till the next upgrade. Kind of like a promise.” A promise that he’ll always be there, that one day an actual ring worth celebrating with a honeymoon will replace it. 

“So, what you’re saying,” Frank thinks he might fucking faint. “Is that this is a promise that we’re gonna…” He can’t even say it, because he think he might start actually lose all control of his tear ducts. He knows what a ring upgrade means, he also knows what a promise ring means.

“That we’re gonna get married one day,” Gerard almost can’t believe those words are coming out of his mouth. Where the fuck did his deadly fear of commitment go? He guesses out the window with the rest of his mind. But he knows he wants to marry Frank, spend forever with him and make it so nothing could ever get between them. He feels the need to secure this, what they have, and a shitty mood ring will have to do for now. “Or at least that I’ll propose one day, you can always say no.” He doesn’t want to lay it too heavy, even though he’s kind of gone past that. 

“Why the fuck would I say no? You could ask right now and I’d be down,” Frank regrets saying it the moment it comes out, fucking exposing himself. 

“Well, I think I’ll wait till I can get a ring not made out of cheap metal that’ll turn your finger blue.” Frank deserves better than that, fuck, he deserves a piece of a damn space rock on pure fucking silver. But knowing Frank would say yes, right here and right now, is close to overwhelming. It even makes Gerard feel worse for making him wait so long. 

“I don’t even care,” Frank laughs through his tears, and he feels the need to look up at the now purple sky to compose himself. He takes a deep breath, and focuses in on Gerard’s soothing movements against his hand, and Gerard’s heartbeat that he can feel against his back. “You could have proposed with the ring pop and I would have kept it on for fucking life.” 

Gerard thinks it over, and realizes there isn’t really any reason to not do it right here, right now. If Frank really doesn’t care, then what’s stopping him? He loves Frank, has for a long time despite how much he tried to tell himself he didn’t. And this is a pretty romantic setting, the lake and the sunset, the pizza hut cup with wildflowers. 

“Okay,” Gerard slips off Frank’s ring.

“What are you-” Frank looks borderline panicked when he twists around. 

“Get up,” Gerard pushes him and the smaller man to their feet, Frank a little wobbly with confusion. 

“What are you doing?” Frank was wrong before because this, right now, is proving to be the fastest his heart has ever beaten. It’s fucking pounding and he’s momentarily concerned he’s going to die right then of a heart attack because Gerard gets down on one knee with Frank’s left hand still being held. “Gera-”

“Frank Anthony Iero Jr.,” Gerard starts, watching the other’s eyes bug out and face flush red. And this is it, this is the perfect moment. “I love you.” 

“Fuck,” Frank says it under his breath that keeps getting harder to control. He’s finally heard it, Gerard fucking said it for the first time in a year. Because of course he would wait till he proposed to tell Frank he’s in love with him, the fucking asshole. 

Gerard ignores the curse, knowing he’s just mildly, or severely, freaking out. “I love you,” he says it again, just to be clear, and feeling a million weights lift off his shoulders. And completely naked. “And I want to spend the rest of our life proving that to you, every single day.” It’s the least he can do, the bare minimum. “You’re my entire world, Frankie. Nothing matters if you aren’t here with me, not even the band.” If Frank were to ever leave, it’d be over. “I don’t want to go another second not being with you, not making it clear how much I love you.” He’s already wasted too much time.

“So, Frankie, my love,” he squeezes the small hand in his own, “will you do me the honor of spending forever with me?” 

He gets an answer in the form of Frank collapsing onto him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck and pushing them to the ground. Gerard yelps but gets cut off with a rough kiss that only last a couple seconds.

“Yes, Gee, fucking yes, of course I’ll spend forever with you,” Frank keeps pressing kisses to his lips, like he needs to get all the pent up tension out by bruising Gerard’s mouth. “I love you too, so much, so fucking much.”

Gerard’s able to flip them over, though, because he needs Frank under him right then. Needs to see his beautiful tear-stained face and messy hair. “Here,” Gerard sits up with Frank’s legs on either side of him, “you need your diamond ring.” 

Frank’s grin is wider and brighter than anything Gerard’s ever seen on the man, “hope you didn’t blow your savings on it.” 

“Let’s just say we’ll be eating ramen from now on,” he jokes back, and slides the cheap mood ring onto Frank’s finger once again. He intertwines their fingers once it’s on and lowers himself back over the smaller body. “I love you, baby.” 

Frank caresses Gerard’s- his fiancé’s cheek and pulls him down into a kiss. “Tell me again,” he whispers, not letting the other’s lips move far from his own. 

Gerard smirks, “I love you,” the more he says it, the more right it feels. The lighter the world seems to get, the less exposed his skin becomes. It’s kind of like ripping off a bandaid over and over until the skin becomes numb. 

“Again,” he wraps his legs around Gerard, pulling him as close as they can get.

Gerard kisses him, making it slower than the one before, giving extra attention to his lip ring. “I love you.”

“One more time,” Frank rubs at the scruff on the older man’s jaw, feeling it against him when Gerard meets his lips.

“My beautiful fiancé, I love you,” calling Frank his fiancé is surreal. He can’t believe he proposed, just like that, no planning ahead or thoughts of the consequences. But Gerard can’t find any reason to feel wrong about it, not when Frank’s holding him like this. So needy with his legs wrapped tight around him, hand pulling at his hair and kissing him earnestly. 

Gerard lets go of the other’s ring-cladded hand to slowly caress his side and down to his butt, then move to grip his thigh. The action makes Frank moan into his mouth, letting Gerard slip his tongue in. It doesn’t take much tongue sucking and lip biting until Gerard’s grinding into the younger man, leaving them both panting while trying to keep their lips locked.

“Need you,” Frank whines, trying his best not to thrust up. He doesn’t really need to anyways, not with how Gerard’s crotch presses into his own.

“Did you want to go back to the bus?” Hopefully no one’s there, “or a motel?” That might be better, more space to give his fiancé everything he craves. 

“No, no,” Frank gasps when he feels kisses around his jaw. “Right here, please.”

“Fuck, baby, we’re in public someone might see,” Gerard’s not about have sex scandal in the middle of tour, or like, ever. 

Frank groans in frustration, feeling himself get harder and harder. “There’s no one here, and it’s-” he has to stop to gasp when Gerard presses against him particularly rough. “Fuck, it’s dark out, no one will see, please,” Frank kisses him, licking into his mouth, trying to seduce him into just fucking Frank out in the open.

It’s not exactly dark out, the sky is a deep blue but he can still see well across the lake. Frank has a point, though, there’s no one at the camp and he doubts Ray will stop by, and Mikey’s out with Pete. They pretty much have the whole ground to themselves. 

He gets distracted by Frank’s tongue and he almost forgets about what’s being suggested until he hears the other whine again. “Please, daddy, fuck me,” and that’s enough convincing for Gerard. If they get caught then the world will just learn what has already been suspected, whatever. 

“Fuck, fuck,” Gerard presses a firm kiss to Frank’s proud smirk then pushes himself up and quickly pulling off the other’s pants and underwear. He pulls off Frank’s shoes too, throwing the items to the side. They’re still on the blanket, so Frank’s bare ass sits comfortable despite the sudden cold air. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he runs his hands over the pale flesh of his fiancé’s thighs. There’s still marks there from previous times, blue and purple bruises, red scratches that he can feel under his fingertips. 

Frank instantly spreads them apart, pressing into the touch and pushing up his small, swollen erection. “And I’m all yours, daddy, forever,” being able to say that and know it’s true, there’s nothing sweeter. Knowing he’ll get to see Gerard look at him like this, like he’s the most divine and delicious creation, is astonishing. 

“Fuck, yeah you are,” Gerard gets an almost devilish grin at the realization. He pays attention to his ring finger pressed against the marked up thigh, the dark blue complimenting the deepest points of Frank’s bruises. “All fucking mine,” he says it more to himself, amazed that he gets to touch him like this for the rest of his life. 

He notices the way Frank’s cock twitches against his stomach. He’s being so good, not asking to be touched. But Gerard knows they have to move this along, while their risk of getting caught is still minimal, the more they prolong this the higher their chance of being on the next cover of TMZ is.

Gerard leans down, scooting himself back on the blanket, and licks up Frank’s cock. He hears Frank whine from above him and thighs flex under his hands. “Love how you taste,” he licks the precum from the tip, digging his tongue into the slit. He glances up to see Frank’s mouth open wide, eyelids shut tight and head thrown to the side. Gerard needs to be in him, like, now. Looking at Frank’s stretched out body, Gerard sweatshirt still on him but rucked up and revealing tensed muscles is becoming too much. He wishes he could take his time, though, really make is special and show Frank how loved he is. But they’re both so desperate, and they’re already being risky enough as it is.

He kisses down Frank’s cock, knowing the teasing is driving the other man crazy with how hard Gerard’s having to hold him down. He presses a kiss to Frank’s rim, noticing how it’s still swollen from earlier. Pressing his tongue over the rim, he feels it clench and Frank attempt to push back. He moans loudly when Gerard inserts his tongue, not trying to be slow or gentle but moving in and out quickly. 

Getting eaten out is one of Frank’s favorite things. Gerard’s tongue is strong and hot, relentless in pressing against his walls and stretching him. He has to grab onto the blanket, clutching the grass underneath it to keep himself from riding the other’s face. 

“Fuck, baby,” he sits back up on his knees between Frank’s legs and unbuckles his belt. 

“Please, please,” Frank’s losing his mind but thankfully he’s not having to wait longer than he’s used to. Usually Gerard will take his sweet time, making Frank close to cumming and on complete edge before giving him what he wants. But now the older man is unzipping his pants, head down and hair falling over his eyes. Frank’s attention goes straight to his lover’s cock when it comes through the black fabric. Fuck, Gerard’s not even going to push his underwear down, just slides it through the hole and starts stroking himself over Frank’s body. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I got you,” he runs a hand over Frank’s hips, paying extra attention to the swallow dedicated to him. Frank already has Gerard’s existence etched into his skin, they were definite from the beginning. “Fuck, we don’t have lube.”

“Never stopped us before,” Franks smirks, “just use spit, want to feel you,” usually Frank isn’t in the business of giving orders during sex. But given the occasion, Gerard will allow it. And because the fact Frank wants that is ridiculously hot. 

“Jesus christ,” then they’re making out, hot and heavy, dicks sliding together. Frank’s legs are wrapped around his torso, holding him down to get more friction. Gerard loves the feeling of his lover’s thighs tight against his sides, loves knowing it means how much the other wants him. He wants to push one back, grip him harder, but he has other plans to move this along before he cums five seconds in. 

He breaks the kiss and brings three fingers to Frank’s wet mouth. Not needing instruction, Frank sucks them in and moans around them, making Gerard involuntarily thrust against him. Once Frank’s lapped his tongue around the long fingers, getting each lubed up with spit, Gerard pulls them out. He doesn’t hesitate to reach down and push two inside the tight rim.

“Oh, fuck,” Frank’s surprised by the intrusion, but it’s not painful since he was just fingered a few hours ago. They go in easy, and Gerard pushes them in and out, loosening him further. 

Gerard sucks at the spot under Frank’s jaw that always makes him shutter, and slides in the third finger. He feels Frank’s thighs tense around him and hears the other’s soft whines. 

“Please, please,” Frank doesn’t even realize he’s saying it, but Gerard starts rubbing at his prostate and he stops being able to control his voice. 

Gerard hums against Frank’s skin, and pulls his fingers all the way and notices how the other’s hips try and push down and get them back in. “So eager,” he nips at Frank’s ear. 

“Fuck me, daddy, I need you, please,” he got over being embarrassed by how he acts during sex the moment he realized how much Gerard liked it too. He’s had a lot of guys not be into it, and some a little too into it, but Gerard’s perfect. 

“I got you, baby,” he sits up to shrug off his jacket because he’s already getting overheated by Frank’s begging. He spits in his hands and coats his dick as much as he can, then presses his fingers over Frank’s rim again. “Want daddy’s cock right here?” 

Frank bites his lower lip fiercely to silence the groan in his throat, trying not to be too loud and draw any possible attention. “Please,” he’s going to lose his fucking mind if a dick isn’t in his ass in the next thirty seconds. Thankfully, Gerard smirks at his desperation and grips his thighs, pushing them up a little before pressing the head of his cock in. 

Frank’s on cloud fucking nine. Pure ecstasy with every inch Gerard fills him. This is the best part, the first time he enters and it’s slow, Gerard being extra careful because of the lack of lube. It feels so close, and he can’t help all the broken moans leaving his mouth. Frank can even feel the veins that bulge out, the precum that makes the slide suddenly easier. 

When Gerard’s fully inside him, the cloth of his boxers pressed against Frank’s ass, he gives his lover a moment to breathe. When Frank gets impatient and moves his hips a little, is when Gerard pulls back all the way and thrusts into him in one hard smooth motion. 

“Fuck, fuck yes, fuck me, fuck me,” he’s basically chanting it, not being able to stop himself which is fine because Gerard isn’t asking him to. Instead, Gerard leans over him, pushing a thigh up on his way down and and putting his weight on his elbow next to Frank’s head. His eyes are fucking bearing into Frank’s soul as he thrusts deep and fast. 

Frank always finds it particularly hot when Gerard fucks him with his clothes still on. As much as he loves seeing Gerard naked, his chest and abdomen flexing with each movement, this is exactly what he needs. Makes him feel like Gerard needed him so much he couldn’t even get his clothes off before getting inside him. Makes Frank feel irresistible. And the sound of the belt buckle shaking with each thrust, the fabric rubbing against his ass, pushing a hand through the back of Gerard’s shirt to feel his muscles flex, all makes him feel so desperate. 

Wearing Gerard’s sweatshirt makes him feel even more dominated, owned. Even though he’s sweating in it, partially wants to rip it off so Gerard can leave hickies on his chest, play with his nipples, but it’s only providing to the experience. He gets to steal Gerard’s clothes the rest of his life, gets to feel like his all the time. 

“Can’t wait to get you in a hotel room, spread you out, kiss every inch of you,” Gerard’s still gazing at him, voice strong but soft, only slightly wavering from the pleasure. He’s always been better than Frank at being coherent during sex. “Fuck you all night, leave marks where everyone can see,” which Gerard never does, always makes sure they can be covered. The idea of it makes Frank whimper and push down on the other’s cock, he’s been wanting that so badly. Been wanting to wear the fact he’s Gerard’s like a badge. 

“You feel so good, baby, all mine,” he thrusts harder, making Frank’s legs tighten at the sudden rush of pleasure.

“Y-yours,” getting fucked is his favorite thing. It used to not be, he’d prefer getting fingered, but ever since he’s been with Gerard there’s nothing he wants more than a cock in his ass. Gerard’s cock to be exact. It’s partially the size, but mainly just him knowing how to fucking use it. 

Gerard is hot and thick inside him, the drag of his cock rougher than usual, but better. Frank’s never been with anyone better, bigger, more attentive than Gerard. He knows exactly what angles to use, how fast or slow or deep to go depending on how Frank’s reacting. 

Like right now, Gerard can tell by the other’s quivering thighs and high pitched moans to be deep and fast. When Frank isn’t able to talk from moaning is when he knows he’s hitting the perfect spot over and over. 

“You’re so good, baby, taking it so well,” he lets go of Frank’s thigh to shift his weight onto the other arm. Frank instantly wraps them tightly around Gerard to keep his cock hitting the same place. And he does, starts grinding there even, making Frank’s mouth fall open and eyes shut tight. “So fucking tight,” Frank clenching around him each time his prostate is hit, which is every time.

He’d try and miss to keep this lasting longer, but they’re in a risky situation and can’t afford being lazy about this. He’s already close, and he can tell his fiancé is too, so he continues with abusing Frank’s spot. 

“You’re so beautiful like this,” Frank’s moaning and shaking in Gerard’s sweatshirt, his hair pasted across his forehead. “You’re all mine, baby, all mine,” he can’t help but feel possessive when Frank’s wearing his clothing, wearing a ring that states he belongs to someone. Belongs to Gerard. It just turns him on even more, knowing he gets to call Frank his, forever. 

He brings his left hand to Frank’s throat, making sure to dig in his ring finger, make Frank feel it. And he does, because Frank lets go of the back of Gerard’s t-shirt to place his left hand over Gerard’s, and looks his lover in the eyes. “

“Gonna fuck you forever, baby,” his cock pulses at the knowledge, getting to be Frank’s for eternity. 

Frank’s eyes are still red and swollen from when he cried, and for a moment Gerard thinks he might start again. “Cum for me baby, cum for daddy,” Frank’s barely hanging on and he doesn’t want to torture him with not letting him cum. He tightens his grip on Frank’s neck and keeps his cock deep inside him, not really thrusting but grinding against the other’s spot. Frank’s eyes almost go to the back of his head as he arches his back, feels his legs shake almost violently, and cums harder than he has in weeks. Probably because it was his fiancé inside him, just knowing Gerard loves him, wants to fucking marry him, that alone makes it the best sex of his life despite being quick, clothed and in public.

“Cum inside me, please,” Frank chokes out when Gerard releases his grip. “Want to feel it, daddy, want to feel you,” his words and the way he clenches tightly around the other’s cock is what has Gerard cumming inside Frank with one deep thrust. 

“Fuck, love you, Frankie, love you so much,” Gerard groans out, riding out his orgasm.

“Love you, Gee,” Frank pets his hair, and captures his lips in a kiss as Gerard pumps himself inside the other. This is the second best part, in Frank’s opinion, feeling his lover’s throbbing cock spill out over his walls and feel the wetness slide down him. Sometimes Frank will wear a cock ring and let Gerard use him, cum in him, then wait till Gerard’s hard and do it over and over until he’s allowed to cum. Makes him feel more used than anything else they do. 

They sloppily kiss until Gerard pulls his cock out, leaving Frank feeling empty and cold. Gerard’s kind enough to put the clothes back on Frank, though, and gives him his jacket since there’s cum all over the sweatshirt. Once their clothes are in order, Gerard collapses next to Frank and looks up at the now completely dark sky, stars starting to shine through. He puts his arm out and has Frank rest against it, tight on Gerard’s side as they gaze up at the stars. 

They lay there for a while in post-orgasmic bliss, hanging tightly on each other. Gerard feels complete with the small man curled against him, feeling their heart rates slow down in unison. Even though he didn't get to truly spend his time on Frank’s body, caressing every inch and marking him up, it still felt like love-making. If he’s honest, each time they’ve fucked has felt like that, even the first. He almost gets aroused again just by thinking of how he’ll get to feel that love each time he enters the other. 

He can’t wait to wake up next to Frank in their future home, slide his cock inside him as they spoon and fuck him gently, lovingly. Can’t wait to watch Frank ride him on their couch with a forgotten movie playing in the background. To cook in their kitchen but end up fucking the smaller man on the counter, fill him with cum and then watch it drip onto the marble surface. To press Frank against their tiled shower wall and make him so weak in the knees Gerard has to lift him up and fuck him like that. He can't wait to make Frank his against every surface of whatever house they choose. It doesn't matter, because they'll make any place theirs the moment Gerard buries his cock deep in the younger man. 

It’s not just the sex he’s excited about, though. It's mainly being able to hold the love of his life in his arms every morning and night. Being able to come home to Frank’s smiling face and kiss him whenever he wants. He gets to live with his best friend, create a life with him. Do art and music together in a designated studio. Make up recipes together and laugh when they turn out disgusting. Fill their home with pets they'll love, and someday children. He’s ready for this, to spend his life with the man breathing softly against him. Knowing it almost makes him cry, because he never thought he'd be alive long enough to spend his life with anyone. 

“Can’t believe you proposed,” Frank says it before he even thinks it over and hears Gerard chuckle. Gerard grabs his left hand and lays it over his heart, playing with the shitty engagement ring again.

“Couldn’t think of a reason not to,” even after the rush of the proposal, the released tension from sex, he can’t think of one. His head is clear, and he’s focused on the stars and how Frank holds both his hands. 

“So, you really want to marry me? Like, tell our friends and family, the fans that we’re together. Have a wedding, because my mom will cut our throats if we don’t have a proper one. And my dad will want to talk to you because he’s old fashioned like that and apparently I’m a girl. Fuck, wait, your dad is going to freak the-”

“Frankie,” Gerard stops his ranting and leans over Frank, ignoring the stars for moment. “Look at me, sweetheart.” Frank does, as much as the darkness allows, and tries to calm his own racing heart. Gerard lets go of one of his hands so he can place the left one on Frank’s cheek, brushing it softly with his thumb and letting Frank feel the ring, the promise. 

“I love you,” those words themselves calm and speed of Frank’s heart at the same time, but he’s not as nervous anymore. “And I’m fine with the world knowing that. I can’t wait to marry you, I’d have us elope right now if we wouldn’t get skinned alive for it.” Frank laughs, because they would get skinned, probably worse. “Your dad may terrify me, but as long as there are no guns or being asked to trade a pig for you then I’ll be fine.” Gerard has had a few stern talks with Frank’s father over the years because the father didn’t like the kind of influence he was. Which, okay, completely understandable. But things are better now, and Frank’s dad didn’t give him the stink eye the last time they met so he thinks they’ll be okay. 

“And don’t even worry about my dad, I’m not, doesn’t make a difference what he thinks. Okay? I love you, that’s not changing. I want to be with you, always, I promise you that.” He kisses Frank’s lips briefly, just securing the message as if it’ll lock it in place.

“And I love you, and I want to be with you, so much Gee, I just,” god, Gerard’s being so fucking sweet and everything he could ever want and Frank is going to fuck it up because his anxious thoughts won’t stop. 

“What is it?” Gerard is supposed to be the commitment-phobic one, and now he’s concerned this is moving too fast with how Frank’s reacting. What if it was only a good idea in the moment? What if the second Frank got off his high from it all he’s regretting it?

“I’m just scared that you only mean this now. That tomorrow you’re going to wake up and freak out and realize this was a huge mistake and-” Frank takes a breath because he’s starting to upset himself. “What if you go back to not loving me when the excitement is all over? I mean, what even made you say it?” 

Gerard wants to be upset over Frank thinking he’d do such a thing, but he can see this from Frank’s perspective. Months, years, of never admitting his feelings, only to do it in the most grand way possible- proposing. 

“That’s not going to happen, you know why?” he speaks gently, and when he feels Frank shrug underneath him he continues. “Because I’ve loved you for a lot longer than you think, longer than I even realized. Just because I couldn’t admit it doesn’t mean I didn’t feel it. There’s nothing to ‘go back to,’ Frankie, I loved you long before tonight, before we started sleeping with each other. Fuck, before I even got sober, I’ve loved you. I know you’re the one, baby, I know it like I know the ink on your skin, perfectly.” 

That seems to satisfy Frank, because he’s kissing Gerard like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to do it. That’s everything he’s been needing to hear for years, each and every word feeling like a hot shot to his system. It’s hard not to tear up yet again from the small speech, but he’s able to keep it under control with how he’s being kissed. Gerard calming him with each move of his tongue.

A few lip bites later and Gerard has to pull away because he can feel Frank shivering, so he gets the other blanket and covers them in it. Gerard’s still only wearing a t-shirt, but the blanket and warm body pressed against him to keep him from freezing. 

They watch the stars in silence, staying close and twisting each other’s rings absentmindedly. Gerard replays the moment he proposed, the look on Frank’s face, the way he felt. It’s like his heart decided to swell up with every inch of love he’s ever felt for the smaller man in that moment. With an added rush of fear that Frank would deny it despite having said he wouldn’t. It only made the acceptance that much more exciting, though. He feels like being engaged is only natural for them, as if they’ve been dating for years. And maybe they have.

Spending their free time with each other whenever they get the chance. Spending their nights together even before the sex, just holding onto one another because it just felt right. Natural. Everything about his relationship with Frank has felt just as natural as the stars he’s staring at. He sometimes wonders if the universe made them from the same pile of rock dust and mess of atoms. If they are meant to be together just as much as the stars are meant to be in space. 

“Hey, shooting star,” Gerard watches it shoot through the sky and squeezes Frank’s hand.

“Shit, really? I didn’t see it,” Frank had his eyes closed, actually. He was too focused on how Gerard’s fingers played with his own. Too distracted by thoughts of their future home and being in his best friend’s arms for the rest of his life. 

“Yeah, that’s okay though, you can have my wish,” Frank thinks that might be the sweetest offer anyone’s made him, (apart from the proposal). He tries hard not to start crying again, but he can’t be blamed for his emotions he just got engaged. There has to be some crying right he gets for that.

“But don’t you want it?” He thinks Gerard deserves it. 

“Nah,” he looks over at Frank, making their noses touch and takes the opportunity to rub them together, “I already got everything I need.”

Frank can’t tell if he wants to roll his eyes from the pure fucking cheesy-ness or start sobbing from the love he feels. “As sweet as that is, you’re missing out on the opportunity to wish to be like, a vampire or some shit.” 

“Somehow I’ll manage,” he laughs despite kind of regretting giving his wish away just in case by some cosmic miracle it’d actually work. “If I were a vampire though, I’d totally turn you and we’d truly get to be together forever.” 

“See, you’re fantasizing about it, you totally want your wish back.” 

“Shut up and make your wish before time runs out,” he kindly warns. 

Frank snorts, “there’s a timer on this thing? Like a five second rule but for stars?” 

“Well I’m sure you can’t see a shooting star and then make the wish for it three years later. The faster you do it the better it’ll work, just makes sense.”

“Gee, nothing about making a wish when a piece of rock flies through space and expecting it to work makes sense,” no matter how fun and romantic the concept is.

“Hey,” Gerard laughs, slightly offended. “Just make your wish, then, if it makes no difference.” 

“Fine,” it’s easy for him, “wish has been made.” 

“What’d you wish for?” Gerard moves his hand up from Frank’s to stroke his forearm. Letting his nails gently scratch him as he knows Frank likes. 

“To go back and relive the moment you proposed,” he’s glad for the dark because he knows his face is bright red by the heat he feels filling his cheeks. 

Gerard smirks, “I can ask you again, if you want.” 

“I won’t stop you, but it’s not the same,” nothing will ever beat that excitement. 

“Frank Anthony Iero Jr,” he starts.

“Gee,” Frank’s blush only grows, and he squeezes the hand he’s still holding.

“What happened to not stopping me?” 

Frank sighs, “alright.” 

“Frankie, love of my life,” he drags his hand up Frank’s arms, shoulder, and neck to caress his cheek. “Will you marry me?” He softly asks, realizing then that he’d never asked those specific words, just another version of them. 

Frank doesn’t expect his heart to stop as if it were the first time, and he doesn’t expect another tear to fall without warning, getting wiped away by his fiancé’s thumb. He does what he did before, and kisses Gerard, just more gentle this time. He feels the butterflies in his stomach swarm, his whole body go hot despite the slight chill. 

“Of course, Gee,” he responds with the same softness.

Gerard gently pecks his lips, “forever, yeah?” 

“Forever.”

 

“You assholes everyone’s here but you two and we leave in ten minutes!” Mikey’s yelling at Gerard over the phone as he and Frank clean up their mess.

“Sorry! We fell asleep but we’ll be right there. We’re at the lake just give us five minutes,” they woke up to their phones being blown up by Mikey and Brian. They didn’t mean to fall asleep but it was hard to avoid when they were comfortably cuddled together and surrounded by darkness and the soft sounds of nature. 

“You’re taking Frank to the hospital if he gets sick because you kept him out in the cold all night,” shit, Gerard hadn’t even thought about that. He looks over at his shivering fiancé who’s wrapped himself in the blanket. 

“I always take him to the hospital,” he zips up his backpack after stuffing everything in it. 

“Whatever, just get over here before Brian sends out a search party.” 

“We’re coming, tell Brian to call off the hounds, see you in a sec, Mikes,” he hangs up and puts an arm around Frank as they walk towards the trail. 

They get back to the bus in four minutes because an angry Brian is a perfect motivator.

“Look who decided to show up!” Brian greets them the second they step into the bus, Frank rushes to the couch and wraps himself in more blankets. 

“Sorry, really, we lost track of time and just- ya know,” he waves his hand, trying to dismiss the situation. 

“Can’t say I’ve ever been so entertained in the middle of Arkansas that I lost track of time, but I’ll take your word for it!” Brian scolds. “Also,” he points his finger at Gerard, “ever fuck in my car again and I’m castrating you.” He storms off the bus then, shouting something at the driver who turns the engine over, completely ignoring the conversation. 

He looks over at a petrified Frank and then at Mikey who’s laughing so hard he’s doubled over, then at Ray who’s gaping with a bagel in one hand. 

“Really, guys? Brian’s car?” Ray chomps from his bagel in disapproval. 

“Frank’s fault, not mine,” Gerard hands the blame over. 

Franks scoffs from his huddle on the couch, “wow, okay, see if I ever surprise you with a blowjob again.” An empty threat, to say the least. 

“TMI,” Ray sighs and does his best to focus on chewing his food and not the images parading his mind. 

“I fucking hate both of you,” Mikey is able to control his breathing, Gerard doesn’t think he’s seen his brother laugh this hard since tour started. 

“Yeah, well, you still have to come our wedding,” Gerard doesn’t even fucking mean to say it, it was just the first comeback he thought of. He looks to Frank to see if he’s angry, but he’s grinning and then moving up from the couch to stand next to his fiancé . 

Mikey and Ray are staring, eyes wide and dancing between Frank and Gerard’s smiley faces for any sign that it’s a joke. 

“You’re fucking with us,” Mikey straightens up and looks skeptical, but also like he’ll punch Gerard if he’s lying. 

“Nope!” Frank sticks his left hand out of the blankets to showcase the ring, “he proposed last night.” Gerard nods and puts his arm around Frank, watching his giddy smile only grow. 

“Holy shit,” Mikey and Ray say in unison, and then they’re both moving towards the couple, eyes even wider than they were before. 

“Fucking knew you guys were serious,” Ray mutters to himself, and holds Frank’s cold hand to look at the ring. “Gerard, did you fucking propose with a mood ring?” Now Ray looks like he’s going to deck Gerard. Frank just nods like it’s the finest piece of jewelry to ever grace his skin. “I’ll fucking deck you.”

“Yeah, it was a spur of the moment thing, but we’ll get real rings eventually,” he assures the others. 

“Oh my god, you better,” but Ray seems fine with that answer because he’s embracing Frank in a tight hug. 

“You seriously proposed?” Mikey asks, voice low and stern. “Like, you guys are legit getting married, wedding bells and all?” 

“Yes, Mikey, I mean, we’ll have to go to Massachusetts ‘cuz it’s only legal there, but it’s happening!” They can still have the ceremony in Jersey, though. 

Mikey’s face lightens up and he practically attacks his brother with a hug, “I’m so fucking happy for you.” He says as they hold each other. 

“Thanks, Mikes, really, thank you,” he’s helped Gerard get to the point of being able to even admit his feelings to himself. 

When they part, Ray’s hugging him and Mikey’s squeezing Frank. 

“Are you good?” Mikey whispers to Frank, who is, of course, crying once again. 

“Better,” he wipes his eyes and feels Gerard stroke his side to comfort him. Despite already being so comfortable he’s crying. 

“I totally told you so,” Mikey teases, making Frank rolls his eyes. “I’ll kick his ass if he tries to go back on it, promise,” the comment doesn’t even spark fear in him, Gerard loves him, he knows that now.

“Won’t be necessary,” Gerard chimes in, holding Frank tighter. 

“Good, because this is the best decision you’ve ever made,” he doesn’t need to tell Gerard twice, Ray nods in agreement. 

“Seriously, can’t imagine anyone else wanting to deal with either of you for eternity so it’s perfect that you just marry each other!” Ray jokes, slapping Gerard on the shoulder in a friendly manner. 

“Ha, ha,” Gerard lets go of Frank to move to the table and grab Ray’s bagel, taking a spiteful bite. 

“No touching anything until you wash your hands and mouth,” but Ray lets him keep the bagel, it’s contaminated. 

Frank agrees with that, though, he also needs to wash the dried cum off his ass and thighs and change clothes. He won’t be able to shower until the next stop, though, so baby wipes will have to do. 

He walks towards the bathroom, dropping the blankets on couch and stopping in front of Gerard. “Still want to marry me?” He asks quietly, more as a joke at the expense of their bandmates, but Gerard drops the bagel on the table to bring the small body closer.

“What color is my mood ring?” Gerard puts his hand in front of the other’s face, letting Frank see. 

When he puts his hand back down to place at Frank’s side, his fiancé has a shy smile. “Dark blue,” he answers. 

“Dark blue.” Gerard smirks back, watching Frank’s cold cheeks flush pink. He pulls him closer, letting Frank grab onto his t-shirt, and kisses him. Their lips stay closed, because Gerard is positive that his morning breath is rank, but it’s still as meaningful as any tongue-involved one. Maybe even more so, given the context. 

He half expects to hear Mikey or Ray groan from their public display, but they must be allowing them to have a moment due to recent events. He doesn’t push it, though, and separates from his fiancé’s lips. Not wanting to let Frank go yet, he pulls him into a tight hug like the one they shared by the kitchenette last night. It’s second nature for Frank to wrap his arms tight around the older man’s neck, and hold him like someone might try and break them away. 

But no one will, because Gerard was the only one ever keeping them apart. And as much as the future scares him, he can’t help but feel completely and utterly happy in this moment. The fears that have been holding him back for so long slipping away each time he simply thinks of his best friend. 

He glances down at his left hand pressed against his lover’s back, and watches the dark blue fill out the band. An overwhelming emotion takes over him, one he’s felt so many times before but always pushed down. This time, though, he lets it rush through him like the deep color that takes over all the others in his ring. He lets it drown every insecurity and anxiety. And as the storm in his mind turns into peaceful waves, he lets the feeling that accompanies it make words in his mouth. 

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment so I feel there was a purpose to stressing over this dumbass fic for weeks thank you hope you enjoyed!


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